Good Days, Bad Days

Hi there. I realize its been wayyyyy to long since I’ve simmed and even thought about my sim projects.

I started chemotherapy on 4/27 and unfortunately, had a very bad reaction because I developed an infection. That meant I had to be admitted to the hospital because infections and chemo are a very bad combo. So I was in the hospital for three days and then I was having trouble with sleeping and withdrawing from school because there was no way I could finish the semester on a good note. Very frustrating.

Then, this past week I went to visit my mom because my dad’s side of the family is too overbearing. They only seem to focus on the negative side of this disease and it makes them worry, which makes me anxious and emotional. Spending mother’s day with my mom and a few days with her was peaceful and relaxing. But, of course this past weekend I had to run to the ER due to new symptoms that came up that I need to monitor.

Then today, my second cycle of chemo got rescheduled because my white blood cells were too low, so that was a long day haha but I did have a good day finally. I seem to have really good days, but then I have those bad days. But, I’m hoping to get a lot of simming done this week! I’ve been working on the next installment of the simself legacy and couldn’t be happier 🙂 Plus, its something positive in my life and can’t focus on the negative as I’ve had to repeat to many of my family members. I’m hoping to be around a little more now.

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Update #2

Hey guys 🙂 I thought I would let everyone know that I am doing extremely well. My surgical healing is going better than expected, but still a long recovery. About three weeks ago I got rid of the machine I was attached to for healing my wound, and since been backing it with gauze and tape. Its truly amazing to see the healing process, the wound is closer to being fully healed, but another few weeks I imagine.

I returned back to school about two weeks ago, so been very busy catching up on the month and half I missed, but I seem to find plenty of time to sim still? Haha I’m finding it hard to get into college mode now. But, I’m confident I can pass this semester like I wanted to. Will just be very busy.

I also am supposed to start chemo this coming week. Good thing is I won’t have to lose my hair this time. Seems like a small victory in my eyes. But, my chemo will be spread out among 6 months roughly. I wanted to let you know that an update for this legacy is coming soon! I just wrote the next chapter for it and plan on (hopefully) writing two more chapters of it so I can just play and write then.

Thank you for the support 🙂 Greatly appreciated.

The Kirk Legacy 3.6B

Oh my gosh what’s this? An update finally? Is this really Part Two? Yes, it finally is. I’m sorry for the long delay. Been very busy with school and had some game issues-which I’m not really sure if they’re resolved or not? But, it doesn’t matter I managed to do something and finish playing and editing pictures. Now its time to tell the story. Now, this will be the last update for awhile again since I’m going to switch to another project since this one took so long to get out I need a break from it haha. Sorry. Anyway, let’s get on to the LONG awaited part two.

But, first a few NOTES to be aware of……..

1. Sim-related violence is displayed in this chapter, nothing brutal or graphic, but just to note.

2. I DO NOT CONDONE any form of violence. It is purely for story-telling purposes. If it makes you uncomfortable please do not read.

3. Graphic wounds or Custom Content wounds are in this chapter. Its nothing that I don’t think you can’t stomach because its pixelated wounds in a sense. BUT, I’m putting a disclaimer just in case and to be considerate.

4. Lately, Profanity will most likely be USED you do not like reading it or hearing, please don’t read or just note to skip over those words. The words are used to convey emotion and are unique to the character.

5. Oh, and I forgot. Time is going to pass quickly in this chapter. I can’t tell you exactly how long because that wouldn’t defeat the purpose of the plot, but imagine much time has passed towards the end.

6. I should probably note this too, I do not have anything against anyone who is of Asian heritage. I don’t think they are violent people or perceive them to be this way. I chose China because in Sims 3 World Adventures its the first country sims can travel to. I have no prejudice against anyone.

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Diary Entry #26:

After they discovered me and An snooping in the tombs, they had us surrounded all holding their weapons of choice. Some with old swords, and others with guns that looked to be Simamerican and possibly confiscated from other travelers they met along the way. They were yelling in Chinese at the top of their longs, their leader most of the time and the others joined in. All of them feverishly throwing their arms around at us. An tried to whisper translations to me when he could, but it was useless because every time they saw An’s lips move, they would point their weapons closer to our throats. They did, however snatch our small travel bags and empty them out searching for weapons I presumed. When they found nothing of value to them, I noticed their leader scrunch up this face in annoyance. That’s when they threw our jackets at us, and signaled for us to put them on. I was confused at the time because the weather was rather temperate, and it wasn’t cold by any means. We brought the jackets only if we planned on scavenging around the mountains. 

  That was until they started forcing us to march to some location, that’s when I realized why they wanted us to wear jackets. They marched us towards the mountains up the only path and leads up to the peaks. That must of been their hideout location? I wasn’t sure. My emotions didn’t overcome me until we reached the stone hut that stood before us. It looked cold and dark. None of them said anything to us, were just stood there for some time as they talked among themselves. Probably plotting what they were going to do to us. That’s when my body started to tense up with fear. I drew back in fear, holding on to An. An’s hands grasped my arm. He tried to let me know that everything was going to be okay, but something told me that it wasn’t. We walked right into the lion’s den. 

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It felt like hours that we were standing there in front of what looked like our future. A stone-cold hut. Eventually their leader walked over to us, with his smug face, glaring at us. I couldn’t help but feel my legs start to step back as he came closer. This man truly frightened me. He turned his head away from and stood there in front of An, in a dead stare. Then he started yelling in Chinese at An. I wish I could of known what he was saying. From what I could gather, I think he was telling An that me and him need to march into that hut since his arms were flailing around towards the door as he commanded. 

I thought An was going to give me the look, that look that says “do what he says by any means”, but instead An’s face went from a serious/scared to angry. He narrowed his eyes at what looked to be the dangerous man out of the bunch, and threw his hands up threatening him in Chinese. 

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As you can imagine, making threats to the person who just kidnapped you and will end your life without blinking did not take them lightly. The man walked toward one of his subordinates, and handed him the gun he was carrying. He then ran up to An, and tackled him to the ground throwing punches anywhere he could. An was taken a little off guard from the looks of it. I”m just glad the man didn’t shoot him right then and there. They wrestled around in the snow for a while, throwing punches and kicks everywhere and anywhere on their opponents body. 

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I put my hands to my lips. I wanted to scream but knew that wasn’t a good idea. Should not draw attention to myself, and if they knew I had feelings for An, they wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him in front of me. Especially something drastic. I bit on my fingers through my gloves. I wanted it to end. I wanted An to stop and just follow his orders. Eventually I closed my eyes because I couldn’t take much more watching An get himself beat up over nothing, or even worse me. I don’t want people to get hurt because of me. 

An wasn’t winning the fight by any means. Eventually the man stood up and An sat there in the snow helpless. Feeling the defeat and in obvious pain. 

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That’s when he looked at me and yelled in Chinese again, signaling to go inside the hut. I did as I was told. No way in hell I was about to defy a man with this much power. I ran through the door, just to get away from him. An followed behind me slowly. Once we both were in the hut, I heard the door shut behind us and it being latched shut. That was it. Here we are in this hut now. What happens now? 

“What happens now? We’re just stuck here now?” I asked, my eyes widening as reality slowly set in

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“Yes. If they’re keeping us in this hut, I’m going to assume they think we have answers of some sort? Which we don’t, but they don’t care regardless. My guess is they’re going to withhold food and water from us. Its an ancient Chinese prisoner of war method. They figure if they weaken the body, it weakens the mind and there fore we’ll divulge more information.” he explained nonchalantly

“Oh……”

“But, hey don’t worry okay Ash? Everything will be okay. I promise. We just have to probably endure some hardships, but we will make it through this.”

How could he be smiling at a time like this? This wasn’t a time to be sentimental or hopeful. We need to look at the facts. The outlook is looking pretty bleak right now. 

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His face slowly turned from a smile to pensive. That’s all I needed to know. Even An can’t hide how worried he is. I turned around and looked around our four-walled hut. It was dark and cold. I just stood there. This was my life for the next-who knows? I could be here for days, weeks, months or even years. If I can hold out that long. I’m going to be tortured for information I don’t even possess. How does one swallow that you ask? You don’t. You just don’t. 

At this point, I’m glad I managed to save my diary in my pocket. I can still hold onto my sanity for a little longer. 

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Diary Entry # 27:

I’m not sure how many days its been. There are no windows in our hut, so we have no idea when its night or daylight. Its been forever. No one has come to see us. An was right. They’re withholding food and water. So far, I just have minor fatigue in the pit of my stomach. Nothing I can’t handle yet. Same goes for An, who is still unusually calm about the whole situation. I’ve had my outbursts of emotions at least once a day, and An just lays there on the floor. 

For fuck’s sake we have no idea how long we’ve been just sitting here in silence?! It could of been two weeks for all we know and we have no idea. There’s no way out. We can’t escape, and even if we did that’s a suicide mission. All we have been doing is siting here. I think An has accepted his fate, and knows the outcome isn’t going to be good. 

The realization I’ve come to? That this is all. my. fault. 

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Diary Entry #28:

I haven’t had a chance to write anything down for quite some time. I still have no idea how much time has passed since we’ve been taken as prisoners. My best guess is maybe two months? Probably been longer than that. At this point that isn’t important. Staying alive and surviving is the main goal. It wasn’t long before they started taking one of us at time to question and use brute force to get the answers they desperately want. 

My body is so weak. I can’t even pick myself up from the floor anymore. When they come they have to come pick me up and carry me to the room where the interrogation takes place. I’ve started to lean against a wall for sleeping, when I do sleep that is. They usually come for An first and then me. I’ve come to the conclusion that since I’m a woman and was parading around their country I get more of the physical torture than An does. I have wounds that start to heal, but they reopen them with their punches, kicks and beat me with any objects they have at the time. I think they want to see me not show emotion. Its like a test they administer even though they know I will. I can’t help but wail each time I’m struck. It hurts and the guilt I’ve been feeling. Its been hovering over me like a bad thunderstorm. An won’t admit it, but I’m sure he blames me. I know he does.

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Knowing An, I’m sure he’s blaming himself and not me. I can see it in his body language. All he has his a huge gash by the corner of his mouth. I think he feels guilty that I get all the violent acts, and not him. But, women aren’t treated the same as men here so its only naturally right? Not saying its right or just, but it makes sense. I can’t help but force a small smile on my face as I think about him. He is such a sweet man, and took a big chance coming here with me. He is a fearless man. I’m happy to call him my friend. But, he needs to know how I’m feeling and that I feel completely responsible for our situation. He was right, we shouldn’t of ever came. 

I miss my parents, and I can only imagine what’s going through their minds. They’re probably worried sick that their daughter hasn’t come home yet and she was probably supposed to be home by now. My dad isn’t resting I’m sure. He’ll make sure every measure is taken for his little girl. I can’t believe I would choose to put my parents through such pain. What if I never see them again? What if I…..what if I die here? 

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I managed to take what energy I had to stand up and lean against the wall for support. I just stared at the locked door. One of the many obstacles of the craved freedom. An watched me and stood up with me, probably in case if I collapsed. I’ve done it before and the floor is metal. Even in this hut, he’s still looking out for me. I then just burst into tears and start mumbling through the hard breaths I take with each tear. 

“I’m…I”m so–so sorry I got you into this An. You don’t deserve this. I can’t believe I talked…talked you into this. I’m so sorry I put our lives into danger. We shouldn’t of came.” I sobbed

“Oh, please Ashlynn. Don’t cry. I can’t bare to see you cry. ” he squinted his eyes, fighting back his own tears and sadness

“But, its true! I’m to blame for all of this. Everything. For you getting hurt, being captured, my own demise! I’ve caused everyone so much pain, even myself. This isn’t right. You don’t deserve to call me a friend.”

“That’s not true. I’m not sorry for any of this.”

“…Wha-what? What did you say?” I sniffled, rubbing my eyes of the tears

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“An, don’t try to make me feel better by lying to me. It’s not going to work. I’m at fault, just admit that you resent me. I resent myself, so its okay for you to say it too. You don’t deserve to know me one bit.”

“What? No! That’s not what I meant. I wasn’t lying. I meant it, I’m not sorry for anything that’s happened. I really mean it.”

“Oh An!” I wobbled into his arms, burying my face into his chest

“Shhh, its okay Ashlynn. I told you, we will make it through this. I promise you.” he whispered

“How can you promise that? That’s a pretty big promise to make. I just want to go home. I want to hug my parents one last time. See my family in good spirits and their smiles. But, no. I have to be the overly ambitious Simamerican girl who wants to help those less fortunate and try to make a difference.” I cried

“Don’t say that Ashlynn. I wouldn’t have this anyway. I’m glad that I’m here with you. You want to know why? Because its that hunger and ambition I like. I’m amazed by how driven you are. There aren’t many people like you, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are. Yes, this situation isn’t ideal, or desired but we knew that going in. So please don’t apologize.”

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“See, its when you say things like that. How do I deserve such kind words? I don’t. Especially coming from you. You’re just being too kind and modest.”

“No I’m not. I’m saying these things because you need to know that I have feelings for you. Strong feelings. In fact, I’d say I’m in love with you Miss Ashlynn Shallow.

What? What did he just say? 

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“What? What did you say?” I stuttered

“I revealed that I”m in love with you. I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way, but I need you to know this. After the course of time we’ve spent together and getting to know you, I’ve developed feelings for you and I can’t deny them any longer.” he repeated

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“Or did you just want to hear me say it again?” he flashed a smile

“Oh. Hehe. You really do?”

“Haha yes Ashlynn. I really do.”

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“Hehe sorry. Just wanted to be sure I wasn’t delirious.” I chuckled

Can say he did manage to put a smile on my face in such a grim time. And truth is, I think I love him too. 

“I love you too An. I’m glad you are apart of my life.”

That’s when he grabbed my arm and kissed me passionately. Our lips were locked tight, and I didn’t want it to end. 

Okay, that’s it for part two! I hoped you enjoyed it, and I”m sorry that it took this long to get out! 🙂 I’m happy with this being an ending point for a bit while I work on other projects. My other projects are missing me terribly, and need to be updated more than this does.

I’d like to give credit for simnights for An Li. She can be found on tumblr.

Also like to give credit to pose creators:

-Delight33 and Crasrcoss for Fear Poses 12 and 13

Chibikins/FairsteadSims for Couch Couple Pose

Crazymary and Payano for S2 pose

Traelia for sleeping pose

Spladoum for Bully 9 pose

Nighty for Hold me Pose

Sagaro for sweet couple Poses 2

The Kirk Legacy 3.6A

Hey Hey! Guess who’s back with an update? 😀 Its mee!!!! haha. Finally made it to the start of the plot line with this chapter and I’m excited to finally be publishing it. This chapter is a two parter, so bare with me. I don’t think this part is too lengthy, but I apologize if it is. I tried to cut it down. Hopefully it won’t be too much to get through. I’m going to try to get the second part out as soon as possible, but no promises because this weekend, and next week are busy again. I have a midterm on Monday-Wednesday. Have a chemistry quiz next Friday, and my group project volunteered first so that’s in two weeks too.

Some disclaimers…

1. I used google translation for Chinese translations, if it is wrong, I apologize. I’m not a Chinese speaking person, nor have I studied it so I have to rely on the internet.

2. Weapons are used in this chapter. I DO NOT condone violence or use of weapons of any kind. This is specifically used for storytelling purposes only.

3. The political and racial/ethnic problems mentioned in this chapter and generation are not real. They may be based off of actual historical events, but still ARE NOT real or true.

4. Profanity MAY BE used. 

 

I think that is all for now, credits will be mentioned at the end of the chapter. Remember, POV is that of the heir’s unless noted differently.

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Diary Entry #25:

We’ve been here a little over a week, and so far we haven’t really seen too much or done much of anything. Its very frustrating. Especially I lobbied so hard to make this expedition happen. I purposely put myself in this situation, and we have all been nothing but useless. We have been wondering around the countryside trying to stay hidden from anyone. An is worried we won’t be able to distinguish between rebels and the locals, besides whoever we find, it won’t be a friendly encounter. At least these are An’s theories. 

Today, we did the most exploring. We haven’t run into anyone, and I guess you could say our confidence levels increased so we stayed out until it was just about sundown. That’s when An stopped me, and had a curious look. 

“You know what doesn’t sound like a bad idea?” he let out a small smirk

“Ehh no I don’t. Please enlighten me.” I teased

“Well you know this used to be a tourist destination right? Why don’t we go exploring in the old temples that they used to have opened up to the public?”

“Why would we want to do that? I mean we aren’t here for vacation An….”

“Well, think about it Ashlynn. If rebels came and invaded your town, you’re first thought would flee right? What if the locals are hiding deep within the surrounding temples? If anyone knows the secret tunnels and rooms it would be them. So why don’t we go looking in them and see if we find anyone?” his eyes lit up as he explained his plan

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He did have a point. But, to be honest that didn’t sound like a good idea. It sounded like a terrible idea. What if we got lost in those temples? Or what if there was an ambush waiting or the temples are the rebels’ hide out now? It would be us walking right into the lion’s den. I was torn between my fears, and An’s idea that seemed plausible. 

“Wouldn’t that be really dangerous and risky?” I felt my bottom lip start to frown

“You mean more dangerous and risky than us just being in this country?” An stated

I didn’t like his attitude or his tone, but again, he had a point. I mean how is that any worse than choosing to come out here in the first place. But, yet a part of me didn’t feel comfortable about this. It didn’t feel right. I just had a bad feeling that I couldn’t shake. 

“Ehhh I don’t know An. I just have a bad feeling about it.”

“Ashlynn you can’t hold out on me now. Don’t lose that passion you had for coming here and helping these people. I told you it would be risky and we’d be staring death straight in the face. You have to trust me. I will do everything to make sure you’re safe, even before my own safely. I promise.

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“Just look at that broken down carriage. That’s a strong sign the rebels are either here already or have been here. Like you said, these people need compassionate people who are on their side. I know you’re with me, you’re just feeling scared because of what could happen. But, remember I’m here with you. Please Ashlynn, you have to trust me.” he pleaded

I looked over at the broken carriage he spoke of. He was right. It was a definite cry of help from these people. I can’t chicken out now. We’ve only begun to unravel the true events here…

“I know you’re right An. I just don’t like to be unsure about what I’m doing. I don’t like this cloudy judgement. I need to be straight, and focus on the mission at hand.” I admitted

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“I’m glad that you’re thinking rationally, believe me I am. I don’t want to sound like I’m being pushy either. I just don’t want you to regret this whole thing. Besides, the Ashlynn I’ve come to known wouldn’t want that either. She doesn’t like regrets. How about we start walking up to the temple and see how you feel once we get there?”

“Um….okay. That sounds fair.”

Why was An all of a sudden this brave, macho man? I’ve never seen that side of him before. Usually he’s very timid and knowledgeable. I was surprised by his words. I guess my compassion has started to wear off on him, and my boldness haha. Glad I’m doing more good than harm to him. As we started walking up the huge hill towards the “Dragon’s Head Temple” oddly enough my jitters did start to slowly fade away.  It wasn’t as menacing as I made it out to be. In face, the trees, shrubs and light dirt path leading up to the entrance gave off a calm serenity.

An lead the way of course, and new exactly where to go. The passageway was hidden behind a shrub. There was a old stairwell, the stone slowly withering away and crumbling. We came out into a big room, with what looked like small baths at one point. Each bathing station had lily pads, and looked fresh. Almost like it was waiting to be greeted with a presence. There were granite statues set up all around the room. An signaled to me that he found a secret passage way. In a way I became really excited since this is probably what earlier explorers actually did. They entered foreign empires and actually explored. Felt like time was turned back for the time being. It was hard to believe these structures were still in tact, and still existed. 

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It was a magnificent place. There were ancient artifacts still in their original form. If this was a formal tour, I’m sure we wouldn’t of been able to touch them, but An and myself couldn’t help it.Everything was in ancient marble. It was simply beautiful. It was truly a palace for when Chinese emperors ruled the land. A temple for healing and calming atmosphere. Stunning sight it was. I wish I had a camera, I would post pictures for those who will read this after me. For now, I can only describe.  An was more adventurous than me and sticking his hand into compartments. I told him to be careful, but he just laughed at me. I feel somehow our roles have reversed since we’ve been with each other for so long. And I mean in a civil manner. 

Unfortunately, the Temple wasn’t very big and there wasn’t much to explore in and we did not find any body hiding down there. An seemed disappointed, but I was relieved. I didn’t want to encounter anyone, foe or potential friend. Plus, we figured it was nightfall and we had to find a suitable campsite to sleep. So we started to head back out of the Temple. 

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We finally reached the main hall with the stone staircase we came down, and we were about to ascend, but that’s when An put his arm out to stop. I quickly turned to look at him and was about to say what the hell An..but he put his index finger in front of his lips to tell me to be quiet. 

“Did you hear that?” he whispered

“Hear what?” I snorted

That’s when he put his index finger in front of his lips again, and then pointed up at the top of the stairs. So I listened closely. 

“Oh my God An what is that?”

“I don’t know. But, it sounds like people. Their voices, and their Chinese. I can’t tell if they’re from this region though. Their voices are too faint. It seems like us, they’re trying to be quiet too.”

My body started to tense up and palms became sweaty and clammy. This was not good. My heart started to pound faster, and I cringed where I stood behind An. Fear was setting in. My worst fear coming true. I knew this was a bad idea. We had no where to go. There was only one way out. 

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That’s when An spun me around and his face turned serious. He was thinking exactly what I was. Those people talking above us are probably foes who will stop at nothing to eliminate us and we need to leave as soon as possible, but we have no way out. 

“Ashlynn, we need to get out of here. I don’t think the people above are ones we want to encounter. We need to figure out how to get out of here now. I need you to stay calm. Do you understand me?” he shook me shoulders

I didn’t know what to say. I was too dead in my tracks to move and respond. I just stared at him, and half-way nodded my head. What were we going to do? We were surrounded. There was only way out. Our best bet was to go deep into the Temple and hide. Even that was risky, and seemed stupid. 

“Ashlynn we need to leave. I don’t think hiding will do us any good. We are going to  walk up those stairs and slip past the enemy. Hope for the best afterwards.We can just stand here and wait for them to find us.”

“But….but An. That’s walking into the lion’s den. We will surely be killed or taken prisoner. I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” I quietly replied

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“Ashlynn, Miss Ashlynn….please trust me. I will lead the way. Besides, I brought cautionary measures in case we were to meet up with enemy. I wouldn’t let us run in blindly with no way to defend ourselves. Please trust me. I won’t let anything happen to you.” he pulled me into a soft hug

“An, I want to believe you. Really. But, I fear something bad is going to happen. I just know it. I don’t see us getting out of here easily like you make it out to be.”

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That’s when An pulled out a gun from a carrier under his pant leg. He brought a fucking gun!? Holy shit. Or as they say, shit just hit the fan. This isn’t good. Reality started to set in, and paranoia came on. I was scared just to see him holding a gun. I’ve never seen a gun like that up close. Even my dad kept his gun put away growing up. He didn’t want us seeing them at all costs even if he did use it for his job and had permission to carry one. Did An really intend to use that?…

“An you brought a gun!?” I squeaked

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“Yes, I brought a hand gun to keep us safe and defend us. Do not worry Miss Ashlynn. I am fully trained to use this.” he explained,waving the gun around

“You planned on actually using that, and didn’t tell me you brought it?”

“I was hoping not to use it, but yes I did have a feeling it would be of good use. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it was that important. I’m sorry I don’t have time to give you a full explanation. We need to start ascending up those stairs, slowly and carefully. See if we can track the enemy and plan a course of action to elude them.”

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“But, An…..you can’t…we can’t do…..” I trailed off

“Please Miss Ashlynn, you need to come with me. We need to get out of here alive, and if that means confronting the enemy than so be it. ” he said, motioning his hand to follow him

I didn’t follow him right away. I was too numb to move. Everything was happening so fast, and not enough time to take it all in. All I could do was watch An’s figure slowly move up the stairs that were about to decide our fate. I couldn’t help but frown at him leaving. What if he was killed right there at the top of the stairs and I ended up alone…I can’t fathom seeing someone die in front of my eyes or what if I die? No. That’ can’t happen. I just can’t. I had to be behind An. I don’t know how, but I built up the courage to walk up those stairs and see what was waiting for us. 

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When I arrived outside of the Dragon’s Cave and walked out I couldn’t believe what I saw. An was standing there surrounded by what looked to be rebels with swords as weapons. An’s gun was by his side. Why didn’t he shoot them? And why are they using swords? All I could do was gasp and hold my hands by my mouth to stop myself from screaming. An was just standing there helpless. Its almost like he didn’t even try to elude the enemy and walked right up to them. But, why? They weren’t speaking, just looking at each other with glaring eyes. There was one man that didn’t have a weapon. He must be their leader I thought. He had an evil look on his face. I could just feel how malicious he was down to his core being. I wanted to say something to An, but I couldn’t produce any sound, I just mouthed the words. I was so useless. 

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I hung my head down. How could I possibly be any help? I mean really. What was I accomplishing by standing there and watching my friend in what looked like a hostile situation, and could end up getting hurt. All I had was a lousy pocket knife Cale gave me one year for my birthday. I don’t know how to use it in combat. I only know how to use my fists, and I wasn’t very skilled in using them. We might as well be dead at this moment. I mentally dissected all possible situations and I don’t see us surviving any of them. That’s when my thought processes were jolted by sudden movement by one of the men surrounding An. 

“Pàntú, nǐ zěnme gǎn yǔ zhè jiā měiguó!” he stepped closer to An, moving his sword closer to An’s neck

I thought the Chinese man standing in front of An was going to slice him up right there in front of me. All I could do was hold my breath, and leave one eye open preparing for the worst. 

“Wǒmen tuòqì nǐ de shànliáng. Zhè shì shénme yuányīn shǐ wǒmen de guójiā shībàile, nánrén dōu xǐhuān nǐ shuí jiāo hǎo nǚxìng.”

“Nǐ wèishéme zhèyàng zuò, zhèxiē rén zài zhège dìqū. Zhèxiē dōu shì hěn hǎo de mínsú, tāmen zhǐ néng jǐnliàng móushēng de themselves.They bù huì shānghài rènhé rén.” An complained

He must of been asking him what he was doing, or asking why they were doing these to the local people. 

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I don’t know what came over me, but I think adrenaline set in and I stepped forward from the shadows and started yelling at An. 

“An you have to stop! They will hurt you if you talk like that to them! We need to get out of here!” I screamed

That’s when the people surrounding him all shot my way. I took a step back. I wanted to run, but my legs wouldn’t move any farther. They started to tremble. What now? I thought. That was when two of the people walked towards me. I couldn’t believe that they were women. Women aren’t treated as equal usually in Chinese culture. But, they were wielding swords as were the men. This rebel group seemed to be highly evolved above the traditional culture, or the women were meant to deal with women who resisted or ran away? They walked towards me with no emotions. They stood in front of me, blocking me from running. 

“An, what are we to do now? What are they going to do with us?”

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An didn’t say anything to me. He just stood there mute. That was until the leader of this group stepped forward towards An, looking more smug than before. His demeanor was threatening. Sent chills down my spine. 

“Nǐ wàirén yǐwéi nǐ shénme dōu zhīdào méiyǒu nǐ. Hǎole, wǒmen huì kàn dào nǐ zhēn de zhīdào duōshǎo.” he gritted through his teeth

I wasn’t sure what the man was saying, but I knew it wasn’t good. An didn’t say anything in response back to the man either. I wasn’t sure what An was playing at. All I know is  I was scared, confused and wanted to break down from the intensity. 

“Shénme? Cóng zhèxiē jiùxīng wú xiǎngyìng? Xíngdòng wú jìhuà dǎbài wǒmen, bāngzhù zhèxiē rén ne? Hǎole, ràng wǒmen dài nǐ huí dàole wǒmen, gàosù nǐ rúhé shuōfú zhēn de kěyǐ.”

Those were the last words spoken by anyone. The next thing I knew they were forcing us down the hill with their swords pointed high at us. I tried to whisper to An, but if we tried talking they pushed us to the ground and threatened us by swinging their sword around, so I complied. They were talking us somewhere Maybe their hideout? Or maybe they weren’t taking us anywhere but our death bed. I had no idea. All I know is I was regretting every decision I made to come here, and I wanted to be home safe. 

Credits:

An Li by simnights

Swords by rosesims

Guns by live2draw

Okay that’s it! 🙂 You have to imagine it as she isn’t writing it in present time though since that wouldn’t be possible. Hopefully that makes sense. hoping to get Part Two out soon! 🙂

The Kirk Legacy 3.5

What’s that? Finally after three months? Haha yes, you’d be correct. But, hey at least its here and I didn’t forget about it? I’ve just been busy this semester. For some reason my studious efforts aren’t making a difference for some reason….but that’s not really important haha. This needed to be updated and ideas started flowing so here we are 🙂 I think this chapter is the same length as the most. Hopefully you can make it through!

Also, the family tree has been updated! Seems our boy, Leon has been busy. He is married, and has a daughter! 🙂 Go check it out for details. It seems Nadine’s suspicions were right, they got married because Sofia was pregnant. I think that’s it. Oh, just remember (in case you forgot haha) chapters are written from the heir’s POV (otherwise stated) and in diary form.

This chapter is more dialog than “diary form”. Oh, and I would note that the international events that are occuring in this chapter are not real, and not based off of anything in particular. It was just me and my creative mind. Though, if it seems similar to something, note that I did not plagiarize anything. I may have been influenced without knowing it, but did not steal anyone’s idea. Just a disclaimer.

Note: Profanity may be used, you’ve been warned. 

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Diary Entry #20: 

Whoa. It has definitely been a long time since I’ve opened this up. Its definitely a little dusty..whoops. What dad and grandma don’t know won’t hurt them right? Then again my dad swears grandma haunts our very lives since she always threatened she would after she died. Grandma did have a sinister sense of humor at times. But, that’s not important at the moment. This diary is about me right? Err supposed to be anyway…I might have to recap since the last entry. As you know, me and Cale have broken up. Its been about two months now? Good riddance is all I have to say. Hopefully whatever girl he’s bossing around is for him. You also know that me and An have decided to plan another trip as soon as possible Simchina. Fortunately, its already taken this long. Two months. I haven’t been known for my patience so I’m starting to become more antsy everyday. 

“Ugh, why are there no listings about traveling aboard yet!” anger gritting through my teeth

“I’m sure there is a logical explanation for it. Plus, you keep checking every day that its starting to drive you mad.” An explained

I really wasn’t in the mood for his proper explanations. 

“An, please do not do that right now. For once can’t you just let your emotions take over. I know you’re as frustrated as me. You just are better at keeping your cool.”

“Oh? Hehe does it really bother you that much?”

He knew how to annoy me, and yet make me laugh when I didn’t want to. Damn him. 

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“Oh is that smile and small laugh I hear coming from you Miss Ashylnn?” he sarcastically said

“Haha damn you for knowing my weaknesses. But, seriously I want to know why. This is important to me. I need to do this. I need to help those families.” I pleaded

“I know I’m sorry. I was just trying to, um..lighten the mood I believe is what you say here?”

“I appreciate it An, but I want to figure this out sooner than later.”

“Maybe you should email them? I’m sure if you showed a peak interest in one that isn’t listed, and mentioned that you’ve visited there previously it would look very good. Almost like a resume? Of course mention he activities you did for the natives and the educational purposes. I think that’s the best you can do. I can try to get some of the professors I know in the program to vouch for us.” he listed off

“An, that’s genius! But, you’d really do that for me? I mean that’s a lot of work and asking such a request could ruin your prime reputation in the program right? ” I frowned a little

“It could yes, but I love your enthusiasm about helping these people. You are truly a great person, and I want to do everything I can to help.”

“Oh, An. You’re so sweet. Thank you so much. You’re a good friend.”

“You’re very welcome Miss Ashlynn.” he smiled

“I still don’t like that title, but thank you.” I smiled back

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An of course helped me write the email. My emotions can cloud my word judgment and make me sound incredibly stupid. I was glad to have him here. Actually, I’m glad we could become friends and remain friends. I can only imagine how much of a third wheel he felt like when it was all three of us. That was completely unfair to him. But, I do remember something quite fondly from that trip. Towards the end of our journey, when he mentioned the rising tension among the different cultures in the region. Not much coverage has been done by our media yet, so I don’t know much about the current situation. Sadly, only people really listen and care until it becomes too late.  I wanted to ask An since I’m sure he’s kept up with it daily. I could only hope I wasn’t crossing any lines. 

“An, remember when you mentioned the rising tensions among the people of the differing cultures throughout the region?”

“Hmm? Oh yes. I do remember. Why do you ask?”

“Well, curiosity may have killed the cat, but just how bad is it over there? I drew back, afraid to know the actual truth

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“Ahh well you know you don’t have to worry about that right?” he fake smiled

“An. Please. I know you’ve been keeping up with it, I can see it on your face. Just like me, you aren’t a good liar. This concerns me. Not only as an citizen of this world, but if I’m going to be granted to travel there, I need to know the situation and be on guard.”

“You’re right, I am not a good liar. I have been keeping up with the Chinese news because I’m worried about my parents and family members. So far, it hasn’t reached anything to be too hostile. But, I’m afraid to say that I think things could change quickly.”

“What is going on there that could bring about such change?” I frowned again

“Sadly, its the conflicting cultures as I mentioned before. But, that’s only scratching the surface. The problem is, the surrounding regions are rich and booming with industry and population growth. The region we went to, is in the center of those regions and the weakest link if you will. The pressure is being applied for them to go from a traditional farming community to an industrious economy. And as you mentioned before, that would bring devastation to the families. Their only knowledge is on how to use the lay of the land. So now what’s happening is, that there are politicians and wealthy business moguls form the other reasons invading the current region. They’re devising plans to change the economy drastically. As for as I know is that they’ve won over the current government governing with the promise of wealth and prosperity so big changes are underway.” he rendered

“What? Are you serious. They can’t do that.”

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“Yes I know. Its just hard to talk about. The sad part is I’m not even done yet. The locals have finally caught on to their schemes and have started to revolt, but have failed miserably. Many lives have been taken. The opposition is using brute force to make sure everyone is on their side, and that means bringing troops in to make sure they swear allegiance to the new ideals of their government. But, their government has been brainwashed by money and really its the wealthy business leaders calling the shots. This has scared everyone.”

What a tragedy. I couldn’t believe what An was telling me. How horrible can these people be? Taking innocent lives. Simply should not happen. These people need someone to help them revolt. Being scared for their lives just to live where they’re people started on the land and have survived using that very same land. I could feel tears starting to swell up in my eyes. I may not know what that’s like from a first hand experience, but I could feel their pain. Their cries for help. 

“That’s so sad. I couldn’t imagine fearing my life like that. To live in my own home but afraid of dying at the hands of my own people.” I whispered

“Please don’t cry Ashlynn. I don’t think I could bare to see it.” An frowned

“How can’t I? Its so sad. All I want to do is help them but yet I feel so useless.”

“You can help them, and you know what? We will help them. We will make it there one way or another. We may not be an army, but two people can make a difference in some way.”

“What? I’ve never heard you talk so confidently like that An.” I was very surprised

“I think you’re braveness is starting to wear off on me.” he chuckled pulling me into a hug

“Haha, well good. I’m glad someone appreciates my personality.”

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Diary Entry #21:

Some things did happen with the family! My aunts Delia and Taryn got married recently. My dad always told us how grandma and grandpa told them their careers are important so that’s what his sisters did. They focused on their careers before having men in their lives. Now in their older age, they’ve found their prince charmings. I think its bittersweet. Aunt Delia married a Chinese doctor she’s worked with for years, Wei. Aunt Taryn married a local man she has known since high school apparently, Marlin Beamer.

Hmm what else, oh! I’m sure you remember me mentioning my brother Leon getting married to some woman? Well we finally met her. She’s very nice despite her looks. Her name is Sofia. And my mom was right, she was pregnant that’s why they got a shotgun marriage. They had a beautiful daughter, her name is Angeline. Such a pretty name for a pretty girl. Its weird seeing Leon as a dad. He’s so good with her though. I’m sure having three younger sisters helped with that. Actually its weird knowing I’m officially an Aunt myself. Doesn’t seem possible haha. Angeline looks just like Leon though, its crazy. She has his nose and our family’s famous dark blue eyes. Thanks to Grandma. She has her mom’s bright blonde hair. Definitely glad I can call her my niece. Lastly, my sister Violet has a boyfriend! His name is Willard I believe. We think he’s a little bit older, and my dad is a little concerned about that. I could care less about that. I’m happy for her is all. 

I guess I should mention that its been about a month since I sent that heartfelt email. An hasn’t been around lately to tell me anything about it. He’s been busy with many of the other international students. Funny though, in a way I do kinda miss him being around. He lightens up the mood when he’s around. But, out of the blue yesterday he did call me so we could talk. His tone was a little unsettling because he was so serious. Made me nervous about what he had to say. 

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“Hey, glad you called.” I let out a little smile

“Sorry its been so long. Been busy.” he replied, avoiding eye contact

“Is something wrong?”

*sighs* “Yes and no. I’m going to just be honest with you. Our request was declined respectfully. I’m just very disappointed and didn’t want to tell you because I know how you would feel. I wasn’t necessarily avoiding it, but I knew it would be hard to do.”

“Oh. I see. Did they say why?” I questioned

“Uhh once again, yes and no. They didn’t go into great detail but they explained that things are far too dangerous over there, and it wouldn’t be safe to send students due to liability issues. Things have came true I’m afraid.” he grimaced

“What does that mean exactly? You know I don’t like vague answers An.”

“What that means is that they aren’t allowing outside visitors and tourists into the country through the program. Its not safe because as I told you a many weeks ago, the locals who have been forced to swear allegiance  are divided. Some have joined the opposition willingly and have killed their own people who disagree with their ideals. The rest have forced to stay indoors and fear their lives. But, by swearing allegiance and to keep safe they aren’t associated with outsiders. The government despises foreign visitors . They think we’re corrupting their people and will do nothing to stop us needless to say. Meaning if we were to go, our lives would be in great danger.”

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“Are you serious? You mean we could potentially die if were to over there?” my eyes widened at the reality

“Yes. School can’t be responsible for our lives like that. I’m sure you understand that much.” his demeanor changing

I was a loss for words. I could die? That thought radiated throughout my body. I started to respond to the fear physically. I could feel my hands become sweaty, and I started breaking into a cold sweat. My legs felt restless. It was like I was staring death in the face. It was so surreal. 

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“Ashlynn, are you alright? Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Oh right. I’m still in a conversation. Glad An’s voice broke my thoughts. I started to think too much about the situation.The very scary situation I could be in. 

“What should we do? Just forget about everything? I mean. I know that’s its a stupid thing to do. Put yourself in the line of the enemy, but….but they need help. I mean An. How? What should we?…”

“I’m not entirely sure. I know how passionate you are, and I, myself am very worried. I’ll have to think it over.” he turned away

“Oh I see. I hope there is something we can do. But, if not…don’t feel bad An okay? I don’t want you feeling guilty. You did everything you could, and I greatly appreciate it. ” I half-smiled

“Thank you Miss Ashlynn. That means a lot. I’ll see what I come up with.”

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Diary Entry #22:

Sorry I haven’t really wrote for  few weeks. Guess the news An broke really shook me, and brought me down. Lately, I’ve just been moping around the house and helping my parents out. Lately, I’ve noticed how they’ve really started to age, and show their age. Its amazing how its happening before my eyes and I haven’t noticed until now. Mom’s hair has started to grey, so she’s been dying it. She’s determined to stay young as long as she can. Dad on the other hand, he’s embracing aging. He still acts like a lovesick teenager when he’s around mom. They’re more love than Leon and Sofia are I think haha. They definitely emulate something I hope you have. 

My parents have kinda forgot about me actually living here, and have been living their lives too. My mom is head chef the bistro in town and isn’t showing any signs of slowing down. Dad is still on the force, and has started to get back on doing more on-hands jobs. He’s not as scared anymore. Then there’s me. Doing nothing. I hate it so much. I need to be doing something out here, not here. I feel so trapped in this house. There’s nothing for me to do here. All I could do was be on the computer all day. Lately, I’ve been researching what’s been going on Chinese new sites and attempting to translate what’s been going on. Doing my research needless to say. Things were worse like An feared. So many unnecessary deaths. It was heartbreaking to see the images and read the heart wrenching words. These people are desperate for help, and are pleading for their lives. I can’t stand around and just watch these horrible crimes happen. 

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Diary Entry #23: 

I called An today. I had to talk to him about everything that’s been going on. I mean, Christ its been a month of no word and no action. I’m not a patient woman, and let’s just say I’m done waiting. I’m doing something whether anyone likes it or not. An needs to hear me out, and hear my thoughts on this. I may have been a scared little girl when he explained things to me, but I have my mind made up now. I  am going there. If I need to join the fight,  I will. Those people can’t fight it alone.

“You wanted to talk Ash-” he started

“First off, let me just talk and get what I need to say. I am going to help those people who need us. I don’t care if the university said no, and I don’t care if you agree or not. Its not fair that we just sit by and watch without acting. While we sit here comfortably in our own homes and fear nothing, they have to fear even leaving their damn house! I won’t stand for that.” I cut in

“Uh…um, I don’t know what to say Ashlynn. I’ll uh…”

“I’m not done An. Now, I don’t know if you’re going to help me by coming with, but you will tell me everything I need to know and want to know. I know I may sound like a bitch right now, but I need to say what’s on my mind. Plus, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this. I didn’t just think of this overnight.”

“Are you finished?” his lips slowly turned into a grin

“Um, yeah.  Yes. I am. ” I sighed

“Well, I’ve been doing some research fro us, err and for you mainly. There is a way we can go. We just go as regular people. No one sponsoring us. Just me and you as travelers.”

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“Of course I’m sure you know how risky that is. We’d be going straight into the enemy’s den. No one will probably help us, but if we could document the things we see, then maybe we could gain more followers? At least that’s what I was thinking. I just kept thinking about the things you said, and what you just told me only reassures me in my decision. I checked and there are still flights open to travel there.” he explained

“Wait, are you being serious? We can just buy a plane ticket and waltz right in pretty much?”

“Yes. But, Ashlynn I need to stress the risk. I know you understood what I said. But, I need you to do more than understand the words. You need to know that there’s an immense amount of risk. You’re life will be threatened the whole time.  I can’t guarantee your safety. I may look like I know my around, but I have never been in any danger, and cannot promise I can keep you alive. Of course, I would like to think I could but we need to face the facts. I’m only one man, and you are only one woman. The odds don’t look very good if we run into trouble.”

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“Yes I know. That’s what I was thinking about these past few days when I was doing my own research about the events happening. I’ve  come to realize that I’d rather be out there risking my life than sitting here living it.” I smiled at how passionate I sounded

“That’s one of my favorite things about you Miss Ashlynn. You are so passionate and determined. More women need that kind of spunk like you have.” he smiled back

“But, are you sure you want to jump on the bandwagon with me? I would never want to put you at risk because of something I want. This has to be a partnership.”

“No no. Of course it will. I’m all in this as much as you are. That’s why I gathered information for us. So we could talk about it, and set up a game plan.”

“An, that’s been the best news I’ve heard in about two months. Thank you so much.” I hugged him

“You’re very welcome.” his smile widening

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Diary Entry #24:

So we made the arrangements and booked our flights. We tried to book one as soon as possible, but it was another two weeks before we would descend for Simchina. I was both excited and unsure about what would happen. I definitely wasn’t scared yet. I wasn’t sure if I should be scared from the beginning  or not. I figured it was better to stay calm for as long as I can. So far so good. I just hope that we find some answers and methods to help these people. When we landed, our jeep ride from the airport was so quiet. It was quiet, but with serenity. I forgot how breathtaking the view was. Nature here was so calming. It made me forget about all of the political dilemma’s stirring up. During our jeep ride to the town we once lived in for eight months, An told me we’d be dropped off at the same inn. The driver actually remembered us, and told us that’s where he would drop us off at. Didn’t realize we were so impressionable. Or maybe it was Cale’s whining the whole time haha. 

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“Its so quiet.” I finally whispered, taking in the scenery

“Yeah, about that.” An scratched his head awkwardly

“What, what is it?”

“We can’t exactly stay at the inn. I tried making reservations and the family who runs it remembers us, but refuses to house us because we are travelers and not natives. They could be persecuted and they aren’t about to take that chance. Soooo we’re on our own from now on.”

“Is that what the sleeping bags you brought with are for?” I raised one eyebrow

“Umm…yes. I probably should of mentioned that sooner, but I figured you were prepared for the worst. Sorry.” he sheepishly smiled

“No, please don’t be sorry. Its just setting in is all. Its always one thing to talk about it, and another thing to experience it.”

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We didn’t do too much the first day. We figured we go see the one family we focused on for those eight months. See how our improvements were working for them. If they still practiced the more modern way of doing things. I would only hope they were continuing on. I was happy to visit them again, and couldn’t wait to see the mother-son duo I worked so closely with. 

When we arrived, An told me to stay back while he knocked on the door and let me know who we were. I still found the silence to be eerie. It was still too quiet. The ponds that surrounded their home seemed to be mute. There weren’t frogs or birds chirping their songs. I felt no presence whatsoever. That’s until An came back with a frown on his face. Things didn’t look good. 

“What happened?” I gently reached out my hand

“Things aren’t good here.” he sighed

“Were they home?”

“Yes, they were.”

“What did they say when you knocked and mentioned who you were?” my eyes trailed up to meet his

“你是外地. 逃離!我們不希望你在這裡種!” An repeated what they said

I only knew one of the words, which was outsiders. That couldn’t of been good. I was afraid to ask for the full translation, but An nodded and he knew I was going to ask. 

“She called us outsiders, to get away and that they don’t want our kind here.”

“That’s horrible!”

“Yes. I know.”

“Are you okay?” I frowned

“I’ll manage. But, that was harder to take than I expected. Never thought I’d be called an outsider.” he winced

“Shall we set up camp somewhere for now? I take it we’ll have to find and make our own food, so we could fish some and set up a fire?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

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And that’s what we did. We found a spot along the river just outside of town, along the main road. We figured we would be safe there. We were close enough to town if we had any problems or needed essentials. But, we were hidden well so wouldn’t be easily detected. It was like living life as a fugitive on the run. We had huge hiking and camping bags we carried around with everything we would need. We went fishing for awhile, and caught as much as we could eat based on the size of fish we caught. While I did most of that, An built a fire so we could cook them up. We didn’t talk much. I felt like it wasn’t a good time to bring up some things since I knew An was hurting. We just sat there in silence and enjoyed each other’s company. 

Then it was nightfall. We both knew we had to sleep eventually and be up early morning so we could move out. I think we both were frightened at the idea of sleeping and being defenseless. Sure we had “weapons” that could be defensive, but nothing we wanted to use. An finally broke the silence and told me to go to sleep. He promised to sleep with one eye open and stay up as long as he could. Though it was comforting, I still had a hard time sleeping that night. 

Credits: An Li is a sim made by simnights, and poses used was Sweet Couple pose by berrysweetshoppe. Thank you very much 🙂

Okay! I’m finally done! As  I mentioned, lots of dialog and I actually shortened this chapter haha. Realized I took wayyyy too many pictures, so you should be proud 🙂 I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I had a fun time playing and writing it. The ideas are finally flowing and I have big plans for this generation 🙂 Just hope everyone  can handle them. The 3 month hiatus is finally over! wooo!

The Kirk Legacy 3.4

Okay 🙂 I’m back after a small break. I was just really busy with work and the past few weekends. Made me super tired and I spent a lot of free time napping haha. But, this is my relaxing weekend and i’m getting as much simming done as possible! I started out with getting this chapter out since I”ve favorite this project for the past few months over my two other ones.

Plus, I need to do some hardcore plot planning to the point where it will make sense haha. I know what I want to happen, just can’t figure out the transitions scenes into it. But, just to let you guys know this might be the last chapter for awhile since I’m going to focus on my rainbowcy after this because it needs much needed love. Hope you don’t mind! ‘

Oh, and in regards to the Kirk legacy family, turns out Leon has a girlfriend now! (Thank you Nraa mod lol). Her name is Sofia Carlton from Twinbrook, and I have a hunch that she might be pregnant haha. I updated the family tree by adding her name, still have to get a picture. Other than that, I think we’re good to go.

This chapter is pretty much dialogue, just a heads up and also……

NOTE: PROFANITY MAY BE USED. Please be advised. (most likely) 

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Diary Entry #18:

When our plan finally touched down in Bridgeport it was still another three hour drive until we reached Twinbrook. Unfortunately, now that its the start of winter here in Simerica, it took even longer since we had to be extra careful on the snowy covered, country roads. We first dropped off An, at his student housing apartment and helped him get his things in. Then it was off to my parents-err my house to get covered in hugs and kisses from my parents. As much as I disagreed with my dad, I did miss him. Hate to admit it, but I am daddy’s little girl. I just couldn’t wait to tell him everything and my mom too. Even though I was dead tired, I was still giddy with all the experiences I have to  share. 

We walked into the house and shut the door, it was quiet and lightly lit. Parents must be sleeping I thought, so then I can talk to them tomorrow. Cale was unimpressed and went straight to bed. I looked around and was taking in the scent of being home. I forgot how much I did miss it, but yet I loved being away too. That’s when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and I turned to see if Cale forgot something, but instead it was my dad staring at me with surprise. 

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“Dad! What are you doing up?” I smiled and ran up to him, pulling it in for a hug

“Haha well you’re mother is a light sleeper and woke me up because she heard doors shutting. I had to check it out, being the man of the house you know.” He chuckled

 “Haha you do too much dad. I missed you guys so much. Its been too long.”

“Me and your mom missed you too. Its a little too quiet around here with just us. Oh, and Mimi missed you too. She’s a little too sassy for us to handle. She needs her mom.”

“Oh my gosh, Mimi! I bet she’s so big now!” I smiled big

That’s when I saw a red tail flip around out of the corner of my eyes. 

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That’s when I looked down to see my now, adult cat twirl her tail around with all of her sass. Dad was not kidding haha, she’s still as stubborn and sassy as ever. That’s why we’re perfect for each other, and probably why Cale picked her out for me. I missed her too. I could of used her company when Cale was being a huge dick. She would of understood. 

“And how’s my little Mimi. Did you miss your momma? Mommy sure missed you. If only I could you with me.” I petted her softly

She jumped into my arms and practically demanded I carry her around everywhere. Such a diva, but that’s why I love her.  That’s when my mom came down the stairs to see why all the lights were on and what the commotion was all about. 

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“Oh honey I’m so glad you’re finally home! I missed you so much!” my mom ran down the stairs and gave me a big hug

“Haha I missed you too mom. I hope dad didn’t drive you too crazy.” I laughed

“Oh stop, you know me and you’re dad don’t drive each other crazy! We spent a lot of quality time with each other and visited your siblings you seem to have forgotten about. Oh, by the way your brother has a girlfriend! She’s just his type and I think she might be pregnant, how exciting is that? You might be an aunt already! Oh, and you’re aunt Delia finally married her long time boyfriend. Lots has been going on with you gone.”

“Haha wow, surprised Leon found himself a girl. I was convinced he looked too douchey.”

“Hey, don’ t say that about your brother. Be nice Ashlynn.” She shook her finger

“You’re only saying that because he’s your only son haha, you’re baby.” I teased

“Well go sit with your dad and catch up while I make coffee for us.”

Leon having a girlfriend and potential child? Sad to say, but that’s scary to think about. But, hopefully this puts him on the right track. He really is a sweet guy, but like I said comes off douchey and girls don’t like that haha. Hope his girlfriend treats him right too, he deserves that. It was good to hear about the family after being away so long, and I could tell my dad was happy to have me back and couldn’t wait to discuss all that happened. He was already sitting on his “throne of knowledge”, or the sofa. That’s where he thought was a good time to pound some kind of ideology into you. Only our dad I swear. 

“So what are you going do for the rest of the time you’re going to be home now?” my dad asked

At first I didn’t say anything because I was really sure how to start or even answer his question. I sat and pondered for bit but then he broke in again.

“Not trying to put you on the spot, or give you the idea that there is one right answer. Its just now that you’ve experienced something that big, how has that shaped what you want to do in life or for the time being?”

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“Ohhhh! I see. Well, I definitely want to go back as soon as possible. I learned a lot about the people that live there, their traditions and lifestyles. Also, our guide, his name is An Li who is from the country and from the same area told us of the political issues that the people are facing and what could potentially happen. Those people need outside help and someone to give them a voice. I want to be that person. You have no idea how much they appreciated us coming to help them. I taught them better and healthier cooking and gardening methods, and the boys helped them with the heavy labor. They were so grateful I could see it in their eyes. Right now, big political schemers are moving in and going to turn the area into white collar society. Something that will hurt these people greatly, and drive them out of their home. Its not right dad.” I explained

“Sounds like you did learn a lot while being over there. I’m very impressed. I wasn’t sure how serious you two would take this trip but I’m glad grandma’s money went to good fortune. She would be proud of you.” he smiled

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“Well experiencing all of this kinda reminds me of you dad. Reminds me of how you were relentless in helping out mom with her situation regardless of the outcome or what did happen to you. I mean, you took bullets for mom and were in a coma. You did all of that for one person you loved. Not many men can say they did that. That’s how I feel. I have to do this no matter what it takes or happens. Knowing that I made a difference for someone or paved the road towards a change is what matters.”

“You’re going to make you’re old man blush jeez haha. But, thank you sweetie. I’m glad that I did something right as a parent, though I’m not the most graceful one. It makes me happy knowing I passed down something valuable to you. This makes me feel much better about everything. The unknown is finally out of the clear, and I have to say I fully support what you want to do. If you need to keep going back, again and again you do so. Me and your mom will support you. “

“Awe thanks daddy, that means a lot.” I smiled, feeling my eyes starting to tear up

It was the best news any daughter could hear, her dad supporting her on her choices. He doesn’t give himself enough credit sometimes, but he really is a great dad and husband. I can only hope I find the same in a man when that time comes for me. This was the type of homecoming I was hoping for. 

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Diary Entry #19:

The next few weeks Cale and I have slowly been settling into our lives we once lived before we went on our trip. It was hard to adjust at first, but we managed. It was just hard because my parents both worked full time and me and Cale just lugged around the house. Shifting cultures is harder than you think. Us, who live in Simerica don’t seem to appreciate good ole’ family time  or put forth a lot of effort like  the people I met of Simchina. Really makes you wonder how that came to be. Guess we’re just naturally lazier and too in-tuned with technology.

But,  I talked to my dad about going back again and ways of how we could fund another trip. We’re going through the university again, but it still costs money to go. My dad said he’s help out as much as possible and so would mom. He gave us the “okay” to go again and be gone for another year. I figured they would want me to stay home for awhile before jet-setting again so quick. I couldn’t wait to tell Cale the good news! 

“Cale I have great news!” I cheered

“Oh yeah, and what’s that Ms. Excitable?” he teased

 “Soooo I was talking with my dad about planning another trip through the university since we loved the work we did there so much, and I want to go back as soon as possible and he told me he would help fund us, and he doesn’t care how soon we leave again! Isn’t that great news? He’s finally on our side. Though, he did say he’d prefer us to stay home longer, but its not a big issue.”

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“He really said that huh?”

“Yes! Aren’t you excited!?” I smiled big

This is where I should’ve known something was wrong, but I was too naive once again. What was about to happen next wasn’t what I was expecting by any means. Far from what I thought his answer would by. He first just stood there staring at me, taking in the words I just said. I was a little concerned, but I figured he was just taking in everything. 

“I mean, that’s great and all but I was kinda enjoying our time being at home again. I sure did miss my own bed and own surroundings. That’s definitely great that your dad is in full support, don’t get me wrong, its just I don’t know how much I want to go back right away. I kinda just want to stay here and see how things go. I was more homesick than expected when I was there. Plus, being away from home seemed to be very stressful for our relationship. I want us to be the way we were before we left. I miss the Ashlynn I knew.” he paused  and waited for me to answer

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This is where it all went downhill from there. I was very confused. What did he mean by the Ashlynn he used to know? I’m still the same woman he has met, been with and left with? Now, he doesn’t want to go back? Was this his idea from the beginning? Now, he’s going back on his word? I couldn’t help but frown right in front of him. I was so disappointed.  I’m the same fucking person. He is acting delusional. I tried to stay cool and collected, but I could feel myself starting to unleash. 

“I’m a little confused…isn’t this what you wanted? I mean you’re the one that brought this idea to me in the first place and convinced me of going along with you? Now you’re changing your mind? That doesn’t make sense Cale.”

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“What? No, Ashlynn I’m not changing my mind, I’m just holding off for a bit. Plus, you didn’t ask me if I wanted to go back anyway, so its natural you should be confused. Its okay.”

“No, it sounds like you’re changing your mind and making excuses.  I wan an explanation. I don’t understand.”I gritted through my teeth

“I just want me and you to enjoy being home finally, and not have any strains on our relationship. I didn’t like all the arguments we had and I miss loving you effortlessly. While we were there, I felt like I had to compete for your love and attention. I think it took away from the experience for me. I just want to hunker down at home for now. Maybe get a job or take some classes and see how that goes first before deciding whether to go back. You know?” he said so coolly

I couldn’t help but scrunch up my face in disgust. It all sounded like lies and excuses, and how selfish of him!? Only caring about how he feels. What about those people we were helping, the whole goal of the mission? That mission was for him to profess his love for me the whole time. I might sound heartless, but it isn’t all about you Cale. One of  his biggest problems. Such a hypocrite. I couldn’t believe the filth I was hearing come out of his mouth. 

“Well maybe I should just invite An with again the since I know he would want to and isn’t concerned with his own problems. Unlike some people, he cares about what other people are going through. Not about himself.”

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I know I probably shouldn’t of said that. It was wrong, but it was what I was thinking and Cale deserved to  know the truth. Even if it let the bad parts of us come out in the end and started a whole new intense argument. It was something that needed to be resolved if we wanted to move forward. We both had things we needed to get off of our chests. 

“Excuse me? Of course you’d bring him up. An this, and An that. Christ Ashlynn what are  you in love with him too?! he complained

………………..

“I shouldn’t of let you two get so close I guess. Since he’s you’re new area of focus. Why don’t you call him so you two can have a good ole’ time together.”

Did I just hear him say the word let? Hell no. He does NOT own me and I can be friends with whoever the HELL I WANT TO. If  I didn’t think twice before I spoke my hand would be slapping him across the face right then and there. 

“LET me? Excuse me? You do NOT let me do anything. You don’t own me and I can be friends with whoever I want to be. Don’t flatter yourself  Cale. You aren’t  the boss of me and stop being a jealous pig. Get over yourself.” I argued

“It wouldn’t be such a problem if he was a woman! But, he’s a guy! Women and men cannot be friends unless there is sexual attraction so damn right I’m jealous and I have right to be.” he spat

“I don’t know what your fucking problem is with me and other guys but it needs to stop. I like meeting new people and making new friends and some of them might, oh shocker, be male. Cale get a fucking grip.”

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“So what you’re just going to leave me in the dust?! Thanks a lot Ash, I really feel the fucking love. Some girlfriend you are.”

After his last few remarks, that’s when I found my resolve and snapped and did a complete 360. I couldn’t take this anymore. This isn’t us anymore. This is the complete opposite of what we were and staying at home wouldn’t fix it. There were too many underlying issues that we need to deal with. I didn’t want this to happen, but it was only a matter of time. Better now, then later. 

“Yeah? Well if that’s how you feel, you can just leave. Just leave for good Cale. Obviously  I’m not your dream girl and you can’t handle the way I am. I need someone who can and that’s not you. So just leave and be thankful for all me and my family had done for you. Just. Fucking. Leave.” I let out a big sigh, feeling myself draining from this argument

After I told him, he paused and I just stared at him, waiting for a reaction. That’s when he cowered in shock that I said that to him. I guess he had a fairy-tail ending for us, and it just shattered. I really didn’t care anymore. I felt immense relief and just wanted to slouch my shoulders for once. I haven’t felt this way since before we left for our trip. Being with him was exhausting and more like a job. It felt good to let go of him. 

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His face quickly turned into scared and surprised into good riddance. I really didn’t care. I just wanted him to get his shit and leave. Didn’t care where he went or what happened to him. I was done for good. He said some things like “your loss” and “fine”, but whatever. He had to go, and I had to call An and tell him the good news instead. 

“Hello, yes An? This is Ashlynn I was wondering  that if you have time you could come over to my house? I can email you the address. I need to talk about taking another trip through the university and I wanted you to come with me again since we had such a great time…….Tomorrow? That sounds great! Thank you so much!”

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Diary Entry #20:

The next day, An came over mid-morning so we could talk. To be honest I slept great, and felt like a new person the next morning. Its been a long time since I slept alone, and I enjoyed every hour of it. No strings and no attachments for once. It was good to be single and feel free. Should of done that a long time ago. 

“I’m so glad you came over! and through the snow ha.” I chuckled

“It was not a problem. Something seemed kinda wrong and I felt a sense of urgency in your voice over the phone.” He replied, his eyes full of worry

Oh great. Try hiding your feelings as best Ash. Don’t need to explain the whole ordeal to him. 

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“Well, the thing is I did some talking with my parents about my experience and thoughts from the journey and my dad is now in full support of what I’m doing. This made me so happy that I already want to go back as soon as possible. My dad said that as long as i do it through the university, he’d help with part of the funding and its something I feel that I need to do and I know I told you that. I don’t care how long it takes, I just need to be there to make a difference.”

“Oh really? I’m glad you feel so strongly about it. In past times, the people couldn’t bare or handle it. Happy to see its sparked interest in you.”

……..

“Now, I’m not sure how soon we can go again, but I’ll try as soon as possible. As I mentioned when we left, things were heating up in the area between current government and rebels. The university usually doesn’t want to put students in harm’s way due to liabilities, but I will try I promise. Otherwise…we could always just go by ourselves without a sponsor, though that’s very risky and expensive.” he explained

That’s when I noticed his eyes went from hopeful to almost devious looking when he mentioned just going and the risk involved. Made it seem like he almost wanted to just go, but he knew that it wasn’t a good idea, and liked that. Definitely a different side of An I’ve seen or sensed from before. 

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“Now, will you please tell me what’s wrong. I can see it in your eyes and sense it with your body language.”

“What? Nooo  there’s nothing wrong An. I’m perfectly fine. Everything is great since coming home.” I exaggerated

Guess there’s no fooling him. Oh well, better he know now then later right? 

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“Ashylnn,  please just tell me. I don’t want to pry, but I consider you my friend and if something is wrong I want to know and try to fix it.” he softly pleaded

“Ehh alright. Nothing gets past you does it? Too people smart for you’re own good.” I playfully complained

“I guess, then again I don’t think women are good at hiding their feelings.”

“Good point. Wellllll, here’s the deal. Cale  and I broke up last night. We are no longer involved and he will not be accompanying me on anything. I am done with him and his foolish way of thinking. He had too many underlying issues that he needed to work out before he could be fully committed to me. I’m not sad about it, I just know that it might change things and I don’t know if I’m ready for those changes yet. My mind says I’m ready, but I’m not sure how I will feel a week from now so I’m letting you know because mood swings might happen and it is not your fault.”

An Li provided by simnights from tumblr.

Alright, that’s it 🙂 I hope you enjoyed this update. I hope it was surprising or expected, either way I’m happy to get it out! I think now I can finally dive into the plotty part of this legacy. I just hope it goes as smooth as I want it to. Like I said, I have to plan out the rest of these chapters and figure out how I want things to go. Until then, hope you post soon!

The Kirk Legacy 3.3B

Hello again! 🙂 I’m not sure if the second part is longer, shorter or the same length as part one lol. I want to say roughly the same length. Its more dialogue in this chapter as well. Important dialogue of course! Haha I have a feeling this generation might be long, and I’m not sure if I’m going to work on 3.4 right after this or move onto another legacy…debating at the moment.

But, anywho onto the chapter!

As said before, An Li is made by simnights from tumblr.

NOTE: Profanity MAY be used. You’ve been warned. 

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Diary Entry #16: 

Its been a long eight months I have to say! I’m sad that our time here is winding down so suddenly. But, it was well worth it. I loved helping every family we got to know. I just hope they continue to do what they learned and can continue to survive off of the land. Though, I’ve noticed that the people here have started to become more skidish and have looked more nervous than ever. It could just be me too, but something feels a tad bit off. Hopefully we didn’t do something wrong. Hate for that to be the case. 

Also, Cale and me have been growing closer with everyday. He isn’t jealous or easily furious. Just makes me respect him so much more, and love him more. Of course I always loved him, and knew that I wanted to be with him from day one. But, things change when the relationship is tested. An and me have also became great friends in the process. Have to admit, I don’t have very many friends because girls these days judge you by appearance. They all think i’m stuck-up because I give a damn  about my appearance somewhat. I mean, if you cross me its not pretty, but as long as there is mutual understanding I’m a very nice person. Of course I’m friends with my sisters, closer with Violet though. We had to share a room though, so you’re going to have to speak to your sister sometime haha. Wow, I am really getting off topic. Sorry. What I’ve been meaning to say is that the other day I got an opportunity to learn something new! and it was sorta fun! I can’t wait to learn more. An asked me if I wanted to try my hand at learning martial arts! 

“Hey Ashlynn? ” he peaked around the corner

“Yes, An? What’s up?” I smiled

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“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to try out learning martial arts?”

“Now?”

“Yeah. I asked Cale, but he surprisingly declined. I think he wants a quiet night in for once since we’ve been so busy haha. But, I know you like trying new things so I thought I’d ask.” he explained, his voice started to get shaky

I do think its funny how he gets nervous around me. Must have a hard time being around a woman all the time. 

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“Do you know martial arts then?” I asked out of curiosity

“Haha yes I do. I learned here as a teenager. It was one thing my parents strove to give him as a extracurricular activity if you will. I think they knew I wasn’t meant for the farming life and wanted to give me choices. Its something I really enjoy. Its an art full of many different skills.”

“Hmm, I don’t know……”

“Haha what? Are you turning a friend down?” he teased

“Welllll I guess I can go with you. Just hope I don’t outshine you or beat you at you’re own game.” I sarcastically said

“Haha oh Miss Ashlynn you do crack me up.”

“Haha sarcasm runs in the family. Trust me.”

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An took me to the martial arts academy where you can practice in the recreational part of the building. I felt a little uneasy because I didn’t want to get in trouble since I’ve had no training whatsoever. I know that this kind of establishment takes everything very seriously. Not something I would want to mess with haha. But, it was late in the day so there wasn’t many people there, so there was a little relief. 

“Okay, so you just want to hit the dummy opponent defensively. You almost have to visualize it as being a real person who is attacking you or if you want, sparing. You can use both hands, arms, feet and legs. Do you want me to demonstrate, or can you handle that kind of direction for now?” he explained

“Yeah, you better do somekind of demonstration for me. Might be easier for me to visualize.” I shyly admitted

I don’t like admitting when I’m not good at something haha too proud of a person for that. That’s when he demonstrated for me and it looked easier than what he explained. He’s not the best teacher least to say haha oh well. At least he’s genuine and enthusiastic about it. Unfortunately, I was not very good at it and was just feeling embarrassed about it all haha. 

“So like this?”

“Umm yeah, try refining the hit. Martial arts takes a lot of precision and predicting. Try focusing on that.”

………………….

” I don’t think this is my forte. I suck at this.” I moped

“Haha, what? Ashlynn not good at something? What happened to that big talk earlier?” he laughed

“Oh yeah, yeah rub it in tough guy.”

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“Haha hey did you want to spar with me?!” his face lit up

“Spar? You mean actually do what I was doing with that wooden dummy with you?!” I was shocked

“Yeah!”

“Well, let’s hope I just don’t hurt you then.”

“Haha sounds like you think you’re a tough guy.” he chuckled

“Its one of my better qualities.” I winked

“Okay, first you bow and acknowledge your opponent like this.”

It was kinda exciting to get to spar with An, doing something he’s good at and loves. I have to say I did enjoy practicing. I was just a little nervous to spar with him. I know he wouldn’t intentionally hurt me, but what if I don’t know my own strength?! Haha, sparring is something you can’t prepare for, at least the first time. 

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After we bowed  I saw An get into a proper stance while I just stood there. He nodded to me, so I tried to copy his stance and he told me he’d start off slow so he doesn’t hurt her and she can learn and just not be flailing around. He first swung around and was going practically slice me with his arm. That’s when he yelled to block. I scrambled and was thinking too much into and instead of blocking with my forearm like you’re supposed to, he hit my shoulder. I yelled out in minimal pain, and of course he was worried and stopped. I told him I was fine, and I’ll probably just bruise. Haha had to remind him I’m a big girl and I can handle it. That’s when he nodded in affirmation for me to I attempted to copy his move just to get a feel for what I’m doing. Of course he quickly blocked it haha, but it was still a good learning experience. I told him we’ll have to continue to do this so he can teach me more. I really enjoyed myself and its something I would love to pick up more and advance in. 

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Diary Entry #17: 

Over the next few weeks while our trip was coming to an end, An took me and Cale on a full trip of the city, and we participated in the festival they were having in town. It was a lot of fun learning about their culture and traditions. Learning about the festival was exciting and I can’t wait for the next time I come visit here! Later that night,  all three of us sat down to a cooked meal by Cale. As I said, Cale is becoming much more comfortable with me being “alone” with An. He doesn’t have to be glued to my side anymore. 

“You know An, I don’t think you ever really told me your major.” I realized that night recalling everything we talked about over the past year and half.

“Oh I didn’t?….oh, and is that your way of asking what it is?” he chuckled

“Haha yes, it is.”

“Haha sorry. I think your sarcastic personality rubbed off onto me these past few months. My major is Economics with an emphasis in International Relations and I’m currently debating to add Logistics into the mix. Complicated stuff needless to say.”

“Sounds like it. But, it sounds like something you can handle too.”

“Hope so. Too deep to quit and change my mind now.” he mumbled under his breath

…………….

“What’s yours then?”

“I haven’t decided on one. Thinking something to do with ethnic and women’s studies but not sure if that’ the wisest choice either. Plus, if I choose something “stupid” I will be hearing about it from my father who forgets I’m a capable adult.” I muttered

“I see, well best luck to you” he smiled

“Thanks. I need it every time I converse with my father. Thank God I have my mom to appeal to his soft spots. “

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“So An. I have I serious question for you, and please don’t take it the wrong way.” Cale turned and said out of the blue

To be honest that made me really nervous because I thought Cale was going to pull a fast one on me, and I didn’t want to have to save his ass again to make him look good. I can be the defending girlfriend for so long. 

“Alright. What’s on your mind?” An asked with a straight face

“Well something stuck with me about what you said while we too the full tour of the city and were at the festival today. You mentioned how you’ve seemed to sense that the people were becoming weary about outsiders, such as ourselves and you’ve only been able to gather bits and pieces of what’s actually going on…..”

“Oh, and what stuck with you exactly?”

“When you told me what the people here are afraid of. How big, top dog Chinese investors and business man are coming into the city and whole region and taking it for themselves. I believe you used the old textbook term, “expansionists”. You explained how they are coming here to convert the whole economy to white collar and diminish the farming community. Now, in reality, I understand that’s bad. But, wouldn’t it benefit the people in the end who are struggling with their farms and trying to make ends meet?” Cale inquired

“Not exactly. On the surface, it does seem like it would be a great solution for the people here as you said, who are struggling. But, you have to remember that farming is passed down from generation to generation. Its a family legacy and usually the family doesn’t opt to do anything else unless there are other circumstances. This means farming is the only thing the people know how to do. So if these expansionists do come and take over the regions economy, the majority of people will not be hired due to lack of skills needed and the jobs will be outsources. This will drive the poverty line even lower. ” An retorted

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I’ll admit I was completely listening when An told us that at the festival because I was wrapped up in the festivities and excitement. But, when him and Cale were discussing it, disgust ran through me. How dare people do that to this sacred place. This is their home, and they deserve to live off the land in any way they choose to. Emotions and thoughts started swirling through me and I had to chime in next. That’s when I jumped up from my seat and started going off on a rant. 

“They can’t do that! Can they!?” I jumped and yelled out in excitement

Both men looked at me in surprise to how strongly I felt about the situation. I care about other people whether blood or not. And a take over is something I WILL NOT stand for. After I blurted out rage, sadness swept over me.

“They can’t…right An? That’s so cruel. These are nice people. They wouldn’t hurt anyone even if someone deserved it. They don’t deserve that kind of treatment. This is their home.That can’t be possible.”

“Well, virtually, yes they can. Will they? I’m not going to sugar coat it. Its very possible it will happen within the next few months that’s why all of the residents are so antsy and losing faith and trust with outsiders. They think they’re apart of the scheme of things. Which isn’t true, but these people are used to relying on others and don’t do the homework they should so they’re easily fooled. But, this is Simchina too. Here, when you have money, that means you have power. I’m not overly surprised by the news, but what can you do? It would take an extreme revolt full of strong leaders. This region isn’t capable of that sadly.” he explained to me

“Yeah, that’s for sure.” Cale agreed

Now, I know Cale was just agreeing but the way he said it rubbed me the wrong way. I was already emotionally charged about what I was hearing and I was in no mood for Cale’s petty jabs and sarcasm. I don’t know what came over me, but I unleashed all of my rage onto Cale sadly. I know that sounds horrible, but emotions consumed me at that point. 

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“How dare you say something like when this is a serious conversation.” I pointed my finger in his face

“What? Ash, what are you talking about?” he spat

“Don’t play that with me. You have been insensitive this whole time we’ve been here. You’re little jabs and sarcasm are really starting to hurt. I’m really starting to think you don’t actually want to be here and don’t give a damn. If you cared you’d be more sympathetic towards these people. Its people like you that make them distrust us. I’m sick of it.”

“Ash, what the hell has been going on with you then? It seems like everytime I speak you have something to counteract and complain about. Where’s the girl I fell in love with and loved me? I’m starting to feel that you don’t feel the same about me. Even though I did absolutely nothing.”

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I was going to keep on going but Cale put in his last two sense and then bolted upstairs to our bedroom. 

“Jesus Christ Ash. You know how to make a man really feel fucking low about himself. I’m here because of you. This is something we wanted to do together and no we’re just growing apart. I can’t handle this shit anymore. I’m going to bed. I’ve lost my appetite.” he shouted

I just stared him down as he put his dishes away and walked up to the top of the stairs and he was out of my sight. My fac was still full of disgust and frowning.I was not happy and I definitely did not want to go up to our room where he was. I could feel An’s eyes on me but I resisted eye contact. I know that my feelings would instantly changed because I hated when he had to witness how dysfunctional we’ve become. Not fair to him and I always feel immense guilt after we have a fight in front of him and feel the need to apologize. I turned to face him, but that’s when he started to approach me. Oh boy. What now? 

“He wasn’t completely wrong and insensitive you know.” he softly said

For once instead of me defending him, An is now. That’s a change of events I wasn’t expecting. I just stared at him. I didn’t know what to say back. Say calmly that is. 

“What I mean is, don’t give me such a hard time. I’ll admit he has seemed a little insensitive but what he was inquiring about was the general truth and he was only being honest. He wasn’t trying to come off that way I think. He only asked to get all of the facts Ashlynn.”

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“Sooo you’re saying once again I just added fuel to the fire that could of easily been put out?” I narrowed my eyes in disbelief

“Uh…yeah? Never understand your Simerica metaphors but it sounds kinda right.” he shyly laughed, he was starting to feel nervous and uncomfortable.

One thing I have never understood. Men can’t handle my anger. I’ve noticed that they either cower like a little kid, storm off or become extremely uncomfortable. Another Kirk trait to add to my list. Thanks Grandma. Keeping your legacy livin’ on aren’t you?

“Oh so great. Now I just have to go upstairs to my potential ex-boyfriend and say hey! Just kidding!”

“Uhh well no. I’m not sure how you two get over fights, but I’d do that. Just thought I’d try to help. Hope I did.”

Sorta An. 

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That’s when I made the long and painful walk up to our bedroom. I secretly was hoping he was already asleep and I’d just sneak into bed, and psychologically we’d forgive each other and end up cuddling each other the whole night. That wasn’t the case of course. When I waked in Cale was just standing there staring into oblivion. That’s when I started to feel extremely uncomfortable. My body started to tense up and I started acting awkward around him. You’d think I’m a lovesick teenage girl.

“Oh, you are in here. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” my voice started to shake

He didn’t say anything back. Just stared lost in thought or purposely trying to ignore me. 

“Look, I came to apologize once again. I don’t deserve this many I know. Saying my emotions got the best of me might be an excuse but that’s what happened Cale. Truth is, I do love you and feel the same way as i have for you. That will never change. You are my everything pretty much. You complete me and my crazy self . Only you can handle all of this wrapped up in a ball with auburn hair.”

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I took a deep breath after I just poured out my true feelings, and my eyes bolted to the ground. I watched his stance turn around and he wrapped me in a hug. Acknowledging forgiveness I believe. I still don’t think I deserve it, but I hugged him back for a long time. It felt like we really drifted and came back most of the trip. I don’t want to be distant. I want us to be close and still in that honeymoon phase. Lately it looks like we’ve hit our ten year mark already. 

“Did you really mean all of that Ash? he grinned

“Hehe of course I did sweetie. You should of seen what I looked like as I said it. Just missed your chance to see your girlfriend act shy and uncomfortable.” I teased

“Oh well. Many more moments until then. But you mean  it all?”

“Yes. You’re my boy, and I”m your girl right? Nothing can change that.”

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After that we shared many kisses and NO we did not have sex in case you were wondering. To be honest I’ve never really had any interest in that yet, so me and Cale haven’t done anything like that. So yes, that means i’m celibate in a way. I guess I don’t feel me and Cale need to do that to show our love for each other. Cale has been sweet about it too, not pressuring me. We held each other most of the night and it was beautiful. I just hope going back home in about a week will bring us closer again. 

“I can’t believe we’re leaving to go back home already this week.” I sighed

“Yeah, definitely seems surreal. But yet, I can’t believe we’ve been away from home that long either.” he agreed

“Haha yeah, no kidding. I didn’t really keep in touch with my parents either, just wait until I walk through the door. My mom is going to freak.

“Haha she just loves you.”

Alright! I’m finally done with it! Its 2am now haha and I stayed up to work on my paper that’s due Thursday but instead I finished this. This was more fun to write I have to say! XD I hope you guys enjoyed it, and it was supposed to be longer, but I realized it didn’t have to be put in so yay! Onto Chapter Four I think. I think I’m going to focus on my simself story until I feel uncreative? haha we’ll see. I’m starting to get excited as we inch closer to more drama.