Hello again! 🙂 I’m not sure if the second part is longer, shorter or the same length as part one lol. I want to say roughly the same length. Its more dialogue in this chapter as well. Important dialogue of course! Haha I have a feeling this generation might be long, and I’m not sure if I’m going to work on 3.4 right after this or move onto another legacy…debating at the moment.
But, anywho onto the chapter!
As said before, An Li is made by simnights from tumblr.
NOTE: Profanity MAY be used. You’ve been warned.
Diary Entry #16:
Its been a long eight months I have to say! I’m sad that our time here is winding down so suddenly. But, it was well worth it. I loved helping every family we got to know. I just hope they continue to do what they learned and can continue to survive off of the land. Though, I’ve noticed that the people here have started to become more skidish and have looked more nervous than ever. It could just be me too, but something feels a tad bit off. Hopefully we didn’t do something wrong. Hate for that to be the case.
Also, Cale and me have been growing closer with everyday. He isn’t jealous or easily furious. Just makes me respect him so much more, and love him more. Of course I always loved him, and knew that I wanted to be with him from day one. But, things change when the relationship is tested. An and me have also became great friends in the process. Have to admit, I don’t have very many friends because girls these days judge you by appearance. They all think i’m stuck-up because I give a damn about my appearance somewhat. I mean, if you cross me its not pretty, but as long as there is mutual understanding I’m a very nice person. Of course I’m friends with my sisters, closer with Violet though. We had to share a room though, so you’re going to have to speak to your sister sometime haha. Wow, I am really getting off topic. Sorry. What I’ve been meaning to say is that the other day I got an opportunity to learn something new! and it was sorta fun! I can’t wait to learn more. An asked me if I wanted to try my hand at learning martial arts!
“Hey Ashlynn? ” he peaked around the corner
“Yes, An? What’s up?” I smiled
“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to try out learning martial arts?”
“Yeah. I asked Cale, but he surprisingly declined. I think he wants a quiet night in for once since we’ve been so busy haha. But, I know you like trying new things so I thought I’d ask.” he explained, his voice started to get shaky
I do think its funny how he gets nervous around me. Must have a hard time being around a woman all the time.
“Do you know martial arts then?” I asked out of curiosity
“Haha yes I do. I learned here as a teenager. It was one thing my parents strove to give him as a extracurricular activity if you will. I think they knew I wasn’t meant for the farming life and wanted to give me choices. Its something I really enjoy. Its an art full of many different skills.”
“Hmm, I don’t know……”
“Haha what? Are you turning a friend down?” he teased
“Welllll I guess I can go with you. Just hope I don’t outshine you or beat you at you’re own game.” I sarcastically said
“Haha oh Miss Ashlynn you do crack me up.”
“Haha sarcasm runs in the family. Trust me.”
An took me to the martial arts academy where you can practice in the recreational part of the building. I felt a little uneasy because I didn’t want to get in trouble since I’ve had no training whatsoever. I know that this kind of establishment takes everything very seriously. Not something I would want to mess with haha. But, it was late in the day so there wasn’t many people there, so there was a little relief.
“Okay, so you just want to hit the dummy opponent defensively. You almost have to visualize it as being a real person who is attacking you or if you want, sparing. You can use both hands, arms, feet and legs. Do you want me to demonstrate, or can you handle that kind of direction for now?” he explained
“Yeah, you better do somekind of demonstration for me. Might be easier for me to visualize.” I shyly admitted
I don’t like admitting when I’m not good at something haha too proud of a person for that. That’s when he demonstrated for me and it looked easier than what he explained. He’s not the best teacher least to say haha oh well. At least he’s genuine and enthusiastic about it. Unfortunately, I was not very good at it and was just feeling embarrassed about it all haha.
“So like this?”
“Umm yeah, try refining the hit. Martial arts takes a lot of precision and predicting. Try focusing on that.”
” I don’t think this is my forte. I suck at this.” I moped
“Haha, what? Ashlynn not good at something? What happened to that big talk earlier?” he laughed
“Oh yeah, yeah rub it in tough guy.”
“Haha hey did you want to spar with me?!” his face lit up
“Spar? You mean actually do what I was doing with that wooden dummy with you?!” I was shocked
“Well, let’s hope I just don’t hurt you then.”
“Haha sounds like you think you’re a tough guy.” he chuckled
“Its one of my better qualities.” I winked
“Okay, first you bow and acknowledge your opponent like this.”
It was kinda exciting to get to spar with An, doing something he’s good at and loves. I have to say I did enjoy practicing. I was just a little nervous to spar with him. I know he wouldn’t intentionally hurt me, but what if I don’t know my own strength?! Haha, sparring is something you can’t prepare for, at least the first time.
After we bowed I saw An get into a proper stance while I just stood there. He nodded to me, so I tried to copy his stance and he told me he’d start off slow so he doesn’t hurt her and she can learn and just not be flailing around. He first swung around and was going practically slice me with his arm. That’s when he yelled to block. I scrambled and was thinking too much into and instead of blocking with my forearm like you’re supposed to, he hit my shoulder. I yelled out in minimal pain, and of course he was worried and stopped. I told him I was fine, and I’ll probably just bruise. Haha had to remind him I’m a big girl and I can handle it. That’s when he nodded in affirmation for me to I attempted to copy his move just to get a feel for what I’m doing. Of course he quickly blocked it haha, but it was still a good learning experience. I told him we’ll have to continue to do this so he can teach me more. I really enjoyed myself and its something I would love to pick up more and advance in.
Diary Entry #17:
Over the next few weeks while our trip was coming to an end, An took me and Cale on a full trip of the city, and we participated in the festival they were having in town. It was a lot of fun learning about their culture and traditions. Learning about the festival was exciting and I can’t wait for the next time I come visit here! Later that night, all three of us sat down to a cooked meal by Cale. As I said, Cale is becoming much more comfortable with me being “alone” with An. He doesn’t have to be glued to my side anymore.
“You know An, I don’t think you ever really told me your major.” I realized that night recalling everything we talked about over the past year and half.
“Oh I didn’t?….oh, and is that your way of asking what it is?” he chuckled
“Haha yes, it is.”
“Haha sorry. I think your sarcastic personality rubbed off onto me these past few months. My major is Economics with an emphasis in International Relations and I’m currently debating to add Logistics into the mix. Complicated stuff needless to say.”
“Sounds like it. But, it sounds like something you can handle too.”
“Hope so. Too deep to quit and change my mind now.” he mumbled under his breath
“What’s yours then?”
“I haven’t decided on one. Thinking something to do with ethnic and women’s studies but not sure if that’ the wisest choice either. Plus, if I choose something “stupid” I will be hearing about it from my father who forgets I’m a capable adult.” I muttered
“I see, well best luck to you” he smiled
“Thanks. I need it every time I converse with my father. Thank God I have my mom to appeal to his soft spots. “
“So An. I have I serious question for you, and please don’t take it the wrong way.” Cale turned and said out of the blue
To be honest that made me really nervous because I thought Cale was going to pull a fast one on me, and I didn’t want to have to save his ass again to make him look good. I can be the defending girlfriend for so long.
“Alright. What’s on your mind?” An asked with a straight face
“Well something stuck with me about what you said while we too the full tour of the city and were at the festival today. You mentioned how you’ve seemed to sense that the people were becoming weary about outsiders, such as ourselves and you’ve only been able to gather bits and pieces of what’s actually going on…..”
“Oh, and what stuck with you exactly?”
“When you told me what the people here are afraid of. How big, top dog Chinese investors and business man are coming into the city and whole region and taking it for themselves. I believe you used the old textbook term, “expansionists”. You explained how they are coming here to convert the whole economy to white collar and diminish the farming community. Now, in reality, I understand that’s bad. But, wouldn’t it benefit the people in the end who are struggling with their farms and trying to make ends meet?” Cale inquired
“Not exactly. On the surface, it does seem like it would be a great solution for the people here as you said, who are struggling. But, you have to remember that farming is passed down from generation to generation. Its a family legacy and usually the family doesn’t opt to do anything else unless there are other circumstances. This means farming is the only thing the people know how to do. So if these expansionists do come and take over the regions economy, the majority of people will not be hired due to lack of skills needed and the jobs will be outsources. This will drive the poverty line even lower. ” An retorted
I’ll admit I was completely listening when An told us that at the festival because I was wrapped up in the festivities and excitement. But, when him and Cale were discussing it, disgust ran through me. How dare people do that to this sacred place. This is their home, and they deserve to live off the land in any way they choose to. Emotions and thoughts started swirling through me and I had to chime in next. That’s when I jumped up from my seat and started going off on a rant.
“They can’t do that! Can they!?” I jumped and yelled out in excitement
Both men looked at me in surprise to how strongly I felt about the situation. I care about other people whether blood or not. And a take over is something I WILL NOT stand for. After I blurted out rage, sadness swept over me.
“They can’t…right An? That’s so cruel. These are nice people. They wouldn’t hurt anyone even if someone deserved it. They don’t deserve that kind of treatment. This is their home.That can’t be possible.”
“Well, virtually, yes they can. Will they? I’m not going to sugar coat it. Its very possible it will happen within the next few months that’s why all of the residents are so antsy and losing faith and trust with outsiders. They think they’re apart of the scheme of things. Which isn’t true, but these people are used to relying on others and don’t do the homework they should so they’re easily fooled. But, this is Simchina too. Here, when you have money, that means you have power. I’m not overly surprised by the news, but what can you do? It would take an extreme revolt full of strong leaders. This region isn’t capable of that sadly.” he explained to me
“Yeah, that’s for sure.” Cale agreed
Now, I know Cale was just agreeing but the way he said it rubbed me the wrong way. I was already emotionally charged about what I was hearing and I was in no mood for Cale’s petty jabs and sarcasm. I don’t know what came over me, but I unleashed all of my rage onto Cale sadly. I know that sounds horrible, but emotions consumed me at that point.
“How dare you say something like when this is a serious conversation.” I pointed my finger in his face
“What? Ash, what are you talking about?” he spat
“Don’t play that with me. You have been insensitive this whole time we’ve been here. You’re little jabs and sarcasm are really starting to hurt. I’m really starting to think you don’t actually want to be here and don’t give a damn. If you cared you’d be more sympathetic towards these people. Its people like you that make them distrust us. I’m sick of it.”
“Ash, what the hell has been going on with you then? It seems like everytime I speak you have something to counteract and complain about. Where’s the girl I fell in love with and loved me? I’m starting to feel that you don’t feel the same about me. Even though I did absolutely nothing.”
I was going to keep on going but Cale put in his last two sense and then bolted upstairs to our bedroom.
“Jesus Christ Ash. You know how to make a man really feel fucking low about himself. I’m here because of you. This is something we wanted to do together and no we’re just growing apart. I can’t handle this shit anymore. I’m going to bed. I’ve lost my appetite.” he shouted
I just stared him down as he put his dishes away and walked up to the top of the stairs and he was out of my sight. My fac was still full of disgust and frowning.I was not happy and I definitely did not want to go up to our room where he was. I could feel An’s eyes on me but I resisted eye contact. I know that my feelings would instantly changed because I hated when he had to witness how dysfunctional we’ve become. Not fair to him and I always feel immense guilt after we have a fight in front of him and feel the need to apologize. I turned to face him, but that’s when he started to approach me. Oh boy. What now?
“He wasn’t completely wrong and insensitive you know.” he softly said
For once instead of me defending him, An is now. That’s a change of events I wasn’t expecting. I just stared at him. I didn’t know what to say back. Say calmly that is.
“What I mean is, don’t give me such a hard time. I’ll admit he has seemed a little insensitive but what he was inquiring about was the general truth and he was only being honest. He wasn’t trying to come off that way I think. He only asked to get all of the facts Ashlynn.”
“Sooo you’re saying once again I just added fuel to the fire that could of easily been put out?” I narrowed my eyes in disbelief
“Uh…yeah? Never understand your Simerica metaphors but it sounds kinda right.” he shyly laughed, he was starting to feel nervous and uncomfortable.
One thing I have never understood. Men can’t handle my anger. I’ve noticed that they either cower like a little kid, storm off or become extremely uncomfortable. Another Kirk trait to add to my list. Thanks Grandma. Keeping your legacy livin’ on aren’t you?
“Oh so great. Now I just have to go upstairs to my potential ex-boyfriend and say hey! Just kidding!”
“Uhh well no. I’m not sure how you two get over fights, but I’d do that. Just thought I’d try to help. Hope I did.”
That’s when I made the long and painful walk up to our bedroom. I secretly was hoping he was already asleep and I’d just sneak into bed, and psychologically we’d forgive each other and end up cuddling each other the whole night. That wasn’t the case of course. When I waked in Cale was just standing there staring into oblivion. That’s when I started to feel extremely uncomfortable. My body started to tense up and I started acting awkward around him. You’d think I’m a lovesick teenage girl.
“Oh, you are in here. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” my voice started to shake
He didn’t say anything back. Just stared lost in thought or purposely trying to ignore me.
“Look, I came to apologize once again. I don’t deserve this many I know. Saying my emotions got the best of me might be an excuse but that’s what happened Cale. Truth is, I do love you and feel the same way as i have for you. That will never change. You are my everything pretty much. You complete me and my crazy self . Only you can handle all of this wrapped up in a ball with auburn hair.”
I took a deep breath after I just poured out my true feelings, and my eyes bolted to the ground. I watched his stance turn around and he wrapped me in a hug. Acknowledging forgiveness I believe. I still don’t think I deserve it, but I hugged him back for a long time. It felt like we really drifted and came back most of the trip. I don’t want to be distant. I want us to be close and still in that honeymoon phase. Lately it looks like we’ve hit our ten year mark already.
“Did you really mean all of that Ash? he grinned
“Hehe of course I did sweetie. You should of seen what I looked like as I said it. Just missed your chance to see your girlfriend act shy and uncomfortable.” I teased
“Oh well. Many more moments until then. But you mean it all?”
“Yes. You’re my boy, and I”m your girl right? Nothing can change that.”
After that we shared many kisses and NO we did not have sex in case you were wondering. To be honest I’ve never really had any interest in that yet, so me and Cale haven’t done anything like that. So yes, that means i’m celibate in a way. I guess I don’t feel me and Cale need to do that to show our love for each other. Cale has been sweet about it too, not pressuring me. We held each other most of the night and it was beautiful. I just hope going back home in about a week will bring us closer again.
“I can’t believe we’re leaving to go back home already this week.” I sighed
“Yeah, definitely seems surreal. But yet, I can’t believe we’ve been away from home that long either.” he agreed
“Haha yeah, no kidding. I didn’t really keep in touch with my parents either, just wait until I walk through the door. My mom is going to freak.
“Haha she just loves you.”
Alright! I’m finally done with it! Its 2am now haha and I stayed up to work on my paper that’s due Thursday but instead I finished this. This was more fun to write I have to say! XD I hope you guys enjoyed it, and it was supposed to be longer, but I realized it didn’t have to be put in so yay! Onto Chapter Four I think. I think I’m going to focus on my simself story until I feel uncreative? haha we’ll see. I’m starting to get excited as we inch closer to more drama.