I’m back with Part Two! I made sure to get this out as quickly as possible. Debating if I want to keep playing in the game since I want to get Generation Three on the way, or switch to one of my other projects like I usually do? Ugh, this is what happens when you have three legacies that you do. We’ll see what I choice.
Anyway, the first part of this chapter will be told from Nadine’s POV just as last chapter ended since Josh is still unconscious, but I will put a footnote in with POV shifts. IT says Diary Entry #30 but Nadine isn’t literally writing in the so-called diary, if that makes sense? Its just to keep everything uniform. Also, Nadine is available for download under the Downloads Tab, either box.net or ts3 site.
This chapter is much shorter I can guarantee that, but still worth breaking it into two parts.
NOTE: Strong Language May Be Used
Diary Entry #30:
Josh just sleeps there, the only stirring sound is his light breaths. I visit day and night, usually whenever I can when I’m not working. I know that he might not be there, or not hear me but I talk to him all the time I’m there. Sometimes whispers, and sometimes causal conversation. I fall asleep with him too. Its not that interactive, but I’m sure it makes him happy, me being here. I wish I could do more for him, but the doctor said all we can do is wait. He’s on such heavy anesthetic and antibiotics. I know that’s he’s okay, but I feel like he’s hurting. I want to help him, and I feel so helpless sitting here. His mom tells me that I’m doing a lot by being there when her and his dad can’t be. That makes me feel worse like I’m taking over their place, but she reassured me that they appreciate it.
“Hi Josh, how are you doing today? Making progress I hope. I haven’t brought Robbie yet to see you, and he’s been whining you see you. Sorry for the delay. I couldn’t deny his cute face when he kept whining “Joshy, Joshy!”. Haha that’s a cute nick name for you I must admit.”
…………..
“He’s been doing okay, but he knows somethings wrong, or different at least. He’s been more fussier than usual. He knows that you’re not home because something happened. Its funny how kids know when you’re hurting isn’t it? I hope you’re not really hurting though. I couldn’t bare to see you in pain like that again. I’m going to tell Dave what happened. He’s your partner, and still has to find time off of work to come see you. But, he’ll get your justice. I don’t care if he doesn’t like me or believe me, he has to hear me out. He’s your friend and would want to see that Dan is put away for good.”
I tried to keep my composure through the whole conversation, but I always find some way to break down and cry. I just love him so much. It hurts. Its almost the same feeling I had when Robbie was born. I just want everything to be okay! Josh deserves the best of the best, and this isn’t what life had in store for him. I just started bawling uncontrollably. Robbie followed pursuit soon after. He doesn’t like to see his momma cry.
“Oh Josh! I just want everything to be okay and stop feeling this pit of guilt in the middle of my throat! I just want you to hug me and tell me you’re all right. I want to feel your lips on mine, and your hands around me. I miss you so much. I know you’re here, but it feels like I don’t have you in my life and its a horrible feeling.” I cried
………
“Josh, I need your strength once again. I don’t think I’m going to last much longer. This week has been one of the worst weeks of my life.”
Diary Entry #31:
Dave has finally been able to come visit Josh. Poor guy, he broke down when he saw Josh unconscious too. He tried to hide it, but I could see him finding it hard to keep his cool. I wanted to hug him and tell him Josh will be okay, but Dave doesn’t like me. But, I had to ask him to find Dan. Josh doesn’t deserve any of this. I had to talk to him whether he wanted to or not. Who knows, maybe he blames me too.
“Dave, can I call you that? I know you don’t like me much, and never have. I can see it in your face when you come over. You think I’m bad for Josh, but this is important. You’re the only chance I have at making sure he gets justice. Now I don’t know if you’ll believe, but I saw who shot Josh. It was my bastard of an ex-husband. I didn’t know Dan was out, I thought you guys put him away? But, he had a revolver, and he shot Josh twice. He showed no remorse.” she explained
“Look, you’re right I wasn’t particularly too fond of you. Josh is a good friend, with a big heart and I didn’t want to see him get hurt is all. But, my feelings aren’t important right now. Josh’s life is. I believe you, really I do. He hates Josh’s guts ever since we busted him. And yes, we did put him away but since you refused to see him again and testify he didn’t get put away that long. That’s okay, we’ll find him. I’ll make sure of it.” Dave agreed
“Thank you so much Dave. This means a lot. I’m sorry that I wasn’t easy to comply with early on. It was hard to even think about seeing him again. I almost passed out the other night when I saw him with the gun. I don’t know if you blame me or not for Dan’s actions, but I just want you to help Josh either way.”
“Nadine, we’ll find him and he’ll be going away. Josh will get justice. And…I’ll admit at first I did automatically blame you. But, Josh wouldn’t want that, and deep down I know its not your fault.”
“Thanks Dave, really. I know I haven’t been the best thing that’s happened to Josh, but this is something I need to be apart of.” I said softly
“You say that, but I’d say you’re the best thing that’s happened to Josh believe it or not. I’m sure he’d agree with me too.” he smiled
Did he just compliment me? Hard to believe coming from the man who’d give me that glare every time he’d come over and see me. His eyes are what made me dislike him. Judging me. But, I’m glad he’s on my side and has a change of heart. I always thought it would be difficult to win over people who known what I’ve been through. A lot of people blame me for being in the relationship that I was in, but they weren’t there. He would of killed me before I left on my own. Ugh, its a subject that’s been beat to death and I’m over what other people’s thoughts are about me.
Diary Entry #32:
Josh still hasn’t woken up yet. I had to excuse myself from his beside and go back to the park where it all happened. It probably wasn’t a good idea, but maybe I’d feel better or get some sort of closure. I didn’t really achieve that when I went here though. I slowly made my way there. I was starting to get nervous with ever inch as I approached the place where, Josh got shot. There was police tape stretched around the whole area. I vaguely remember them doing that when the paramedics came. I don’t really remember the police. I know I talked with them while they were moving Josh from the ground to the ambulance, but I don’t remember what I said. Its all a blur, even the ambulance ride was. I just remember staring at Josh, pleading for his life and all of these hands around him.
As I approached closer to the fence with the police tape I felt the chills, as if someone died here and I could feel their presence. My body went numb, and I felt scared. I tried to snap out of it, but my body just turned around taking in the surroundings. It was chilling. I wasn’t sure if I was feeling what I’m supposed to. I didn’t feel relived like I wanted to. I still felt sad, maybe because I know Josh isn’t awake. I hoped this would be the right thing to do, but I’m still searching for answers. I guess I just need to be Josh, and when he wakes up I’ll feel relief and closure.
All I know, is that I need someone sleeping beside me soon. I barely fall asleep at night now since I don’t like sleeping alone. I’m scared to fall asleep alone. I feel like Dan is going to come find me and hurt me like he used to at night. I lie awake, thinking about Josh. Thinking about what he might be thinking, or if he is thinking. Whether is about me, or if he’s asking himself why him? I miss him. No, I need him.
(POV is being shifted to Josh’s POV, also he’s not awake just yet. These next events are just illusions he’s seeing while being unconscious)
Diary Entry #33:
*yawns* “Wait…what? What’s going on?”
I woke up and everything seemed brighter, and everything was white. I was confused. I was alone, sleeping in a single bed that isn’t my own? Did something happen?
“White chairs? Flowers?…Where am I?”
Am I in a hospital? Why? What happened to me?…I had so many questions and no one was answering them because I had no one to ask. Am I dead? I hope not. No. I can’t be. This isn’t how my life was supposed to be lived! I’m not done living yet!
Right when I was fighting tears and raging out on what was going on I heard someone crying.
I looked over and it was Nadine. She wasn’t there a minute ago though? Why was she crying? Is it because I’m really dead. No. I can’t die now. I need to be with her! I need her to know how much I love her! What the hell is going on?!
“Oh Josh, I’m sorry for everything. I don’t deserve you, and I’m sorry for ruining your life like this. I’m sorry you met me and took me in. I blame myself because if you didn’t know me this wouldn’t of happened. I love you, I know I didn’t say it to you when you wanted me to. I’m sorry for that. I was going to tell you that before Dan shot you. I only wish you could say it back right now.” she cried
No, this isn’t a mistake. We’re not a mistake! Why would she say that? Everything has happened to us for a reason. I deeply care about her and she needs to know that! I would be nothing if I hadn’t met her! Why is she saying these things?
I got up from the bed, even though my body felt heavy. I could barely keep my stance but I managed to stand up and face her. I was looking right into her eyes, but I felt like she wasn’t really looking at me. Its like she was looking down at my chest. It was weird, couldn’t she see me?
“Nadine?….Nadine, I’m here for you?”
She didn’t say anything. She just stared straight ahead. She looked as if she was in a trance. Did I not exist on the physical world anymore? No, that wasn’t it. I didn’t feel dead. Plus, where’s my dead body? I must still be alive. Plus, I can hear and almost touch her.
“Nadine, sweetie, I’m here for you.”
I tried again, still nothing. I had to try something else.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. She felt so real, I pressed my body against hers. She felt so warm and loving. I wanted to kiss her, but when I opened my eyes she was gone. I held my hand out and all that was there, was the air. Was I dreaming maybe? No. That’s not it.
Maybe I really was dead…..
“Josh? Look at you. I need you to wake up. You need to be here with us, your family. Your parents are really worried and need you. ” she whispered
There it was again! I could hear here, but this time I couldn’t see her like before. I don’t know what was going on, but it felt like torture. I needed to talk to her, feel her. Wherever she was, I wanted to be there. That’s when I felt weird. I still couldn’t see anything, everything was black.
All of a sudden I felt the urge to move. I cold move my arms and legs, but I was just moving them? I was so confused. But, I opened my eyes and I was in the same room I just envisioned. I started to move to get up, and I saw Nadine at the end of the bed. As I moved, my body ached. Did I have surgery? I looked down and there were sutures and a bandage. Then I remembered what happened. I was shot, but I don’t remember by who. I started to get up, I didn’t care about the pain I needed to talk to Nadine. But, she beat me to the punch.
“JOSH?!” she screamed
She screamed my name and ran over by me and practically jumped into my arms. I almost missed her leaping and would of dropped her. I lifted her up and smiled.
“I missed you.” I whsipered
“Josh, you have no idea how happy I am. I was starting to get worried!”
“I’m here love, you don’t have to worry. I’ve missed you.”
” I’ve missed you more.” she whispered back
Everything almost felt surreal, did I have an out-of-body experience when I was unconscious? No, that wasn’t it. It was something else that I can’t really explain. All I knew is that I’m glad I could hold her in my arms again.
My arms were going to give out if I held onto any longer, I’m still pretty week, but I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her, long and deep. She kissed me back, we stood there lost in each other’s kiss. She was so warm, just like the dream. I didn’t want to let go, and neither did she. That was the best kiss in my life. I loved her so much, and I could tell she loved me. I heard her say it in my dream, so I know she must of really said it as she came and visited me in my comatose state. Eventually we needed to stop kissing and stop for air. She smiled at me, and I smiled back. I wrapped her in a hug and told her I didn’t want her to think this was all a mistake.
“What are you talking about?” she asked
“I had a dream and you were blaming yourself for this and saying how things would be better if I didn’t know you. That’s not true. I would be nothing if I didn’t have you. I need you in my life. Who would come visit me if I didn’t have you?” I told her
“Josh that wasn’t a dream, you just heard me talking.”
“Well, I don’t want you talking like that ever again.You, me this is right. I know you second guess it, but its true. We were meant together.”
“I know. I needed to hear you say that. I don’t know why I felt so guilty. I just needed you to tell me it wasn’t my fault. I love you Josh. I really do.” she started to cry
“I know, and I’m happy to hear you say those words.” I kissed her forehead
“Ohmygosh we need to call in your parents! Beth! Adan!” she shouted
Uh-oh here we go. My mother is going to have a heart attack if she hasn’t already. Of course my mother came running in and hugged me as tightly as she could.
“Josh I swear this better not happen EVER, and I mean EVER again.” she was crying, but yet lecturing
“Its good to see you awake son.” adan smiled
“Thanks dad, I’m sorry I’ve worried you this much. I wish I could of woken up earlier.” I half-smiled
I looked over at Nadine and she just smiled with joy. I’m sure she felt really guilty seeing my parents a total wreck when they know how did the shooting. But, I’m glad I could bring peace to everyone’s mind. Let’s just hope this is the only thing they have to worry about from now on. I don’t like scaring them like this. I’m just happy to see my family and to see Nadine’s beautiful face.
Alright that’s Part Two 🙂 I know its really late, but I needed to finish this while it was in my mind. Again, Nadine is available for download and keep your eyes peeled for 2.8! Again, this is going to be a long generation probably, so be prepared for that.
The Kirk Legacy 